‘I love my dog more than my hubby!’
Author Laura Kemp is in a very loving, long-term relationship – with her canine companion…
There’s nothing better than snuggling up on the sofa of an evening with the love of my life. It’s the perfect wind-down, nestling into his warm body, breathing in his comforting scent – and I know he feels exactly the same way about me.
‘I’ve been waiting for this all day,’ I tell him. That’s usually when my husband, Jamie, appears at the living room door and grumbles there’s no room for him.
Ollie, our beloved five-yearold dog, will open an eye and then stretch out on his back belly up for a rub, which I can never resist, claiming his spot on the sofa. I simply can’t make him get down, not with those big puppy-dog eyes. Instead, it’s Jamie who has to find somewhere else to sit.
Any non pet-owners out there will think I’m crackers.
They’ll probably only see the hard bits of having a hound. They’re high maintenance, needing daily walks even when it’s cold and wet, and their toilet business is unsavoury to say the least. They tie you down, as they can’t be left alone for too long or overnight. And they leave their muddy, hairy mark everywhere – as well as their smell.
I thought all of this, too, before our cute Cavachon – a mix of Cavalier Spaniel
and Bichon Frise – came into our lives. But once you’ve welcomed a furry friend into your home, you find yourself falling head over paws because of all the uncomplicated joy they bring.
Every morning Ollie greets me at our home in Cardiff with utter devotion, not caring about my bed hair or breath. When I walk through the door, even if I’ve just popped out for milk, he almost wags his tail off with delight.
His happiness is contagious, too. Whenever he hears me grab hold of the lead – even if he’s mid-snooze – he’s ecstatic. His gallop across the beach or through long grass is life-affirming, and then there’s the adorable way he gazes up at me (especially if I have a crust of toast in hand).
Yes, yes, I hear you say, but he’s a dog, and how can he compare to the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with?
Jamie, 49, is a fantastic husband and I couldn’t ask for a better dad to our gorgeous son Paddy, 11. He’s the funniest person on the planet and makes me laugh out loud every day. He’s a proper family man – responsible, dependable and keeps me stocked up with gin. I love him madly. What could be better?
Well, the problem is, he’s human and humans have bad days. Dogs, quite simply, do not.
Ollie never moans. He enjoys every meal I give him. He doesn’t leave dirty pants on the floor, snore as if he’s gargling snooker balls or ‘not see’ towering piles of mess.
It all adds up to a pure kind of love that’s unconditional and completely reciprocated.
I never expected to feel this way. We were happy with one child but we wanted to give Paddy a playmate, so a dog was our natural answer.
Jamie would be his master and I’d do the food and exercise bit. But, I told myself confidently, I wouldn’t stop being a ‘cat person’, petting our ancient moggy, Pillow.
How wrong I was! As soon as I saw the tiny bundle of white and apricot fluff, it was love at first sight. And instantly he became the heart of our family, giving us a focus and a chance to shower love everywhere.
Of course, there were accidents on the carpet and chewed shoes, but nothing was done with malice. I defended Ollie – ‘He’s just a baby’ – when I discovered him with my best heels between his needle-sharp teeth.
I’d smile with pride as everyone he met turned gooey over him, giving me an insight into how Victoria Beckham feels when she’s out with David.
It still happens to this day and my love has quietly turned into obsession. I talk about him endlessly, I have a T-shirt featuring his face, a miniature Ollie car deodorant hanging from the rear-view mirror.
Our holidays are always dog-friendly and I’ve had a portrait of him painted.
Paddy’s primary school very graciously humoured me and allowed Ollie to be in my son’s end-of-year photo. Naturally, he wore Paddy’s first ever uniform jumper!
If I’m away, I’ll FaceTime to see him. If I’m home, he’s at my feet. To my readers, Facebook friends, and Twitter and Instagram followers, he’s The Secretary – my books wouldn’t get written without his walks, which help me solve plot problems, keep me fit and have taught me to notice the smallest of nature’s wonders as he sniffs the grass.
The only person I love more is Paddy. And it’s no wonder when you look at the science. Researchers found that when owners lock eyes with their dogs, we get a huge surge of the cuddle hormone, oxytocin, which mimics the way parents bond
with their babies.
When it slipped out that Ollie was more loveable than him, Jamie was agog. But beneath his bluster and fluster, and he won’t admit it, he feels exactly the same way – he’s the one who lets Ollie sleep on the bed with us, after all! Jamie puts Ollie on a pedestal, too, and why wouldn’t he? The dog doesn’t snap at him over discarded loo roll tubes not finding their way to the bin. I’m unbearable to live with when I’m mid-edit and the poor long-suffering man gets it in the neck when he can’t read my mind.
Time is crucial, too, in our love affair with our dog – one day we’ll lose him. As man and wife, we know – we hope – we have longer together. So for now, at 45, I’ll bask on the sofa with my dog and let my husband continue to grumble, thank you very much.
l Laura Kemp is author of Bring Me Sunshine, out now (Orion, £7.99)
‘A pure kind of love... I never expected to feel this way’