‘How I refused to be a wide bride’
Stacy Dawes was bullied because of her weight. Now, she’s shed more than 9st and is preparing for her big day...
Standing in the local play centre, I tried to keep up with my little girl. She was tearing around like a little Looney Tune, while I was breathless and beetroot red.
The month before, I’d given birth to baby Rosie and hadn’t spent much time with my eldest, Olivia, so
I’d brought her out for the morning as a treat.
‘Let’s go down the slide!’ she said, with a huge smile on her face. I wiped the sweat from my lip, climbed up to the big slide, sat down next to my daughter and held her hand.
Olivia slid down like a shot, but my hips got wedged and I couldn’t move.
My little girl got off the slide and looked back up at me. ‘Come on, Mummy!’ she shouted innocently. Everyone turned around to see me stuck because I was so fat.
Mortified, I managed to shimmy myself loose, grabbed Olivia and drove home. The minute we got through the door, my partner, Zak, got up, with Rosie in his arms. ‘Did you have a nice time?’ he asked. I went up to the bathroom and locked myself in, bursting into tears. What had I done to myself? How had I gotten this big? I could only just squeeze into my size-24 clothes, but at over 20st was it any wonder?
Zak eventually coaxed me out. ‘ You’ve just had a baby,’ he said gently. ‘ You’re beautiful inside and out.’ But I didn’t believe him.
After speaking to my family, I decided I’d join Slimming World. It’d worked for me before so why not now? The following Monday, in April 2018, I drove straight past the meeting and went home. A week later I made it into the car park, watched everyone filter in and – two hours later – come back out.
Finally, three weeks after deciding to go, I made it inside. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to anyone, ashamed and terrified... The scales told me I was 20st 5lbs – far too big for my 5ft 7in height. ‘It’s OK,’ the consultant, Jodie, said gently. ‘ You won’t see those numbers again.’
I just hoped she was right as I’d always struggled with my weight…
By the time I was nine, I was wearing age 13 trousers and my mum had changed my diet to help address my weight.
I had healthy home-cooked dinners, but I was bullied at school, so turned to chocolate and crisps for comfort.
I’d secretly eat in my bedroom and spent my pocket money at the local sweetshop. I was a keen roller-skater and went to martial arts classes, but it didn’t help.
I can remember being on a school trip when I was 13 and my friends were buying gorgeous outfits. I was embarrassed when I had to buy a size-20 tracksuit from an adult shop.
A couple of years later, my family moved to the south of France for my dad’s job. All the bullying I’d endured followed me. I was quiet and thought everyone was talking behind my back. I struggled to make friends but, as time went on, I decided the only way to lose weight was to stop eating. So, I survived on energy drinks and milkshakes.
By the time I moved back to the UK, aged 18, to live with grandparents, I was a size 12. One weekend in 2008, I went to stay with family friends in Great Yarmouth and met Zak. He was kind, sweet and made me feel special. We were friends at first but, before long, we became a couple. We’d go out for dinner, to the pub and we were so happy, but it meant that my weight started to creep back up.
I tried diets but they didn’t work. Then, in 2013, I was devastated when I lost my nanny to cancer. She’d been my rock and of course, I turned to food for comfort.
In December that year, Zak proposed, it was a complete surprise! I burst into tears and said yes. We didn’t make any plans, though – I couldn’t bear the thought of being a fat bride.
Then, in 2015,
I fell pregnant with Olivia. We were so excited, but that same year, my grandad passed away. The grief hit me all over again. I was a size 18 then and struggled to cope. I was careful what I
‘I’m more active and my confidence is growing’
ate because I was expecting, yet somehow, I managed to put on 3st.
By the time Olivia arrived, I was a size 20. Zak worked away a lot, and while I was taking care of our girl I didn’t eat a lot – just always the wrong foods.
I loved being a mum, but thought everyone would talk about my weight if I left the house. ‘ You look lovely,’ Zak told me. But when I went to the doctor, I was told I was at risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease and stroke.
It terrified me, but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it. Especially when I fell pregnant again. After Rosie was born in March 2018 and that slide incident, I knew I couldn’t go on.
Thankfully, Jodie was right – I wouldn’t see 20st 5lbs again. I planned my meals, cooked healthy dishes from scratch and started eating three meals a day following the Food Optimising Plan. In my first week I lost 12lbs and within two months I’d shed 2st.
It was easier than I thought, and the weekly meetings were invaluable at keeping me on track. Olivia loved my new recipes, too.
Now, at 30, I’m 10st 12lbs and a size 8-10. I’m a much more active mum, our kids eat well, and my confidence is growing.
Zak is incredibly proud of me and, as I no longer worry about squeezing into a wedding dress, I’m planning to marry my sweetheart next year with our gorgeous daughters by our side. I’ve finally got my happiness back.