OVERWHELMED AT SON’S DIAGNOSIS

Mwith y son, 16, has only recently been diagnosed me and autism – and it has completely knocked he might be my husband for six. I had suspected some years. He’s very ‘on the spectrum’, as they say, for makefriends, he can’t cope clever, but finds it difficult to to take turns with schoolwork and finds it impossible with his siblings. in a conversation at the dinner table school and healthcare We’re getting great help from the overwhelmed – and professionals, but I’m feeling utterly about what this could I’m filled with terror, when I think future. mean for my gorgeous boy and his Rachel, Birmingham

MANDY SAYS: and ideas of who they As parents, we all have dreams for our children as we are to insist that might become or what they might do, anxious describe being ‘filled with all we want is for them to be ‘happy’. You but does seem extreme. terror’, which is completely understandable, your son has suffered from What you now have is a name for what with a sense of your own all his life. You are beginning to grapple like a brutal interruption loss, as a diagnosis such as this can feel on your hopes and dreams for him. son is an important part Grieving for what you had hoped for your sure you move through that of accepting things, but you need to make your child is not ‘normal’ grief, instead of woefully regretting that always known there at every developmental stage. You say you’ve have an answer that not might be something wrong, and now you

– and, by theway,his only legitimises your concerns, his difficulties

I’m hoping that your cleverness – but also signposts a way forward. answers, and will realise he is son might feel relieved that he’s getting pain of an autistic diagnosis is not alone. I often think that much of the are autistic. that our world isn’t set up for people who to that experience by As parents, you can make a big difference explore the world together accepting the child that you do have, and to find out more about through his eyes. I think it’s time for you and start to see it as autism, so you can stop seeing it as an illness, at 16 years old suggests a different way of being. Having a diagnosis of the spectrum. But, even that he might not be at the extreme end he is will be fundamental to if he is, his acceptance of who and what and self-esteem, and his relationship with himself – his identity

Looking at the website therefore his ability to embrace his world. about living autism.org will provide you with vital information with autism.