Andrea’s devastating struggle: I was suicidal
Opening up about the night that left her contemplating suicide, Andrea McLean has spoken out about her mental health…
She’s beautiful, happily married and successful – but Loose Woman Andrea McLean’s shock revelations show the dangers of judging a book by its cover.
In her autobiography, This Girl Is On Fire, the star confesses that the stresses of midlife pushed her to the brink of suicide. And the horrific anxiety she’s suffered in recent years culminated last year, in a breakdown in front of a make-up artist.
‘My friend, Donna, rubbed my back as tears of humiliation, embarrassment and, weirdly, relief ran down my cheeks. “What do you want?” she asked. “It can’t be this… You’re making yourself ill and I’m worried about you”.’
‘I couldn’t deny it any longer,’ Andrea admitted, ‘I was having a nervous breakdown.’
Even though she’d been taking anti-anxiety medication since December 2018, Andrea admitted the breakdown had been ‘brewing’, as the smallest things put her on edge.
The stress became physical, she recalled. She found it hard to sleep and would throw up with anxiety. ‘At my lowest point, I was suicidal,’ she said, with searing honesty.
During a work trip, alone in her hotel room, she admitted she wanted to end it all… And yet she couldn’t do it. Some part of her mind knew she couldn’t hurt her family — her kids, Finlay, 18, and Amy, 13 and third husband, Nick. ‘I thought they would be ashamed…’
The next day, she got up, put on a smile, and went to work as normal. ‘How can anyone go from lying on the floor suicidal to going to work next day?’ she mused.
Looking back now, Andrea believes there were many causes, including sheer burnout, a lack of self-worth, unhealthy relationships, and social media trolls waiting to ‘suck the joy out of us’.
Added to that was a hysterectomy that plunged her into an overnight menopause, aged 48, and not keeping a close eye on her finances – meaning she’d panic when the tax bill arrived.
Thankfully, that day in the make-up chair was a turning point. Since then, Andrea has sought help, cut back on work and is trying to stop burying her feelings.
Her anxiety hasn’t completely disappeared. But, she’s working on it. And the biggest lesson she’s learned? ‘Your happiness is in your own hands.’
Such raw confessions take real guts.
We wish you well, Andrea.