MUM FAVOURS BROTHER’S KIDS

It is becoming increasingly evident from the gifts she buys, to keeping in touch, that my mother spends more time and effort on my brother’s kids than she ever has done with mine. My younger brother has always been Mum’s golden boy – which I have resigned myself to over the years, but I see it coming out in the kids now, too. It’s so unfair but I don’t want to have a row and I know Mum – she’ll just say I am being ‘ridiculous’ and her behaviour will not change… I don’t want this unfair favour to pass down another generation!

Laura, Aberdeen

How about sending her a friendly text message saying you’re absolutely sure she couldn’t possibly have done it on purpose, but you thought you’d better alert her to the fact that she has mistakenly bought much more lavish presents for your brother’s children than for yours? Tell her you wanted to let her know, before the children themselves realise the discrepancy and get upset. Say you know she wouldn’t dream of having favourites. It would be so hurtful to the grandkids. Give her a chance to wise up to what she’s doing and – let’s hope – reach a decision never to do something so nasty and divisive again. Get your message across – without an unnecessary row.