Vanessa: The rocky road to 60… I can’t wait for my bus pass!
As the unstoppable Vanessa Feltz turns 59, best talks to her about the difference a year makes – and the huge party she’s planning next year…
This time last year, broadcaster and best agony aunt Vanessa Feltz was enjoying a glitzy birthday bash in her North London pad. This year, she says ruefully, she was ‘clattering about the house in heels and a too-tight dress’ with only her lovely partner of 14 years, Ben Ofoedu, for company! But the larger-than-life BBC radio presenter – who turned 59 on 21 February – is also rather amused at the thought of being one year closer to 60, and all that might entail. ‘I’m a year off my free bus pass’, she laughs, heartily. ‘My Ben’s sure to find that very sexy…!’
Are you looking forward to that free bus travel?
Oh, stop! Ben thinks it’s hilarious – just because he’s 10 years younger. Wait till it’s his turn. I won’t let him on the bus. Look, the last year of my 50s – lockdown or not, I am going to make up for lost time. All the shocking things I didn’t do in my respectable youth, I want to make up for. I’m going to get into trouble, I might even get arrested… No, not really. I just want to have fun, as soon as we get the chance. I don’t want to settle down into respectable old age – I don’t want to settle down at all. I want to be as full of energy and dynamism as I always have been.
This time last year, you had a big party – crazy how the world has changed since…
I had a belting party, hijinks, far too much alcohol. And nobody talked about Covid, or was aware of it. How bloody wonderful! I wore a magnificent red plunge, skintight fishtail dress, with my boobs hanging out the front, bum hanging out the back, and the most vertiginous stilettos I could possibly walk in. Looking back, it was the last hurrah. Some people thought 58 was a weird age to celebrate. But I’d made it to a year older than my mum – she died at 57, so I was celebrating life. And I’m glad I did. It’s my philosophy – always have the party, don’t wait.
Does that give you a different view on ageing?
It does. I feel privileged to be alive, especially during a pandemic. More time with Ben, gossiping with pals, hanging out with my grandbabies. More chances to buy other completely unsuitable frocks! Sensible walking shoes and corduroy skirts stay away… I’ll be putting the sexy into 60, in a chiffon negligee – don’t forget, my father was Norman ‘the knicker king’, so I have quite the collection.
They say people have ‘old’ or ‘young’ souls. No need to ask which you have… Honestly, if I met my 14-yearold self today… I haven’t changed at all! My taste in men hasn’t – I still like big muscly boys. I’ve always liked attention, I love glamour and razzle-dazzle, I’ve never liked minimalism or tasteful clothes. I bomb around in my sporty red Mini convertible with dark glasses and dyed blonde hair flowing in the breeze, doing my faithful Diana Dors impression, handsome boyfriend by my side. It’s what I dreamed of as a teenager.
The Diana Dors look is fabulous, but it must take commitment…
I love it, but it’s a lot of work because my hair is neither blonde nor straight – not like, say, Ulrika Jonsson. I must force mine into submission. Ben’s been fabulous during lockdown doing my highlights, though –it’s a surprisingly bonding experience for a couple. Every three weeks, he does my roots.
Has anyone ever treated you differently because of your age?
No, actually. And I’ve never felt ‘invisible’. I feel no different. I’ve always been pretty confident, happy to have a view and take anyone else on if they disagree – I’m up for it. I’m not scared of defending my path. The only thing that’s ever made me feel different is when I stop and think, ‘Oh, I’m 40’, or ‘I’m 50’. So I try not to.
It’s a rocky road to a milestone like 60 – but do life’s ups and downs fortify you?
I’ve had everything that every other woman has had – except for the past 30 years, I’ve had it in the spotlight, which doesn’t help. Everyone taking a stand on your life is a strange one. I’ve had some highs, I’ve had some truly horrible lows. That awful feeling when a marriage ends, it wasn’t your choice, you lose every ounce of confidence and must piece your shattered life back together. But, with each year that goes by, you get more perspective. Things slowly ease. The cliché of time being a great healer is true – that’s an important lesson to learn.
You’ve been around the block, as far as life experiences go…
I have – but I don’t want to get to the point where I think I know everything, or I’ve done everything... I don’t ever want to be that jaded, older person who thinks they know everything – you know the type. I want to change my mind, be talked into or out of things, I want to continue to be as shocked and excited by life, and head over heels in love as ever. Don’t let anyone convince you that just because you’re getting older, you have to dumb down your feelings. I want all the adventures and the crazy emotions to continue. Bring it on!
‘I’m going to make up for lost time’