Yes, yes, yes: Having the best sex ever at 50!
Divorcee Tara Nightingale says sex in your 50s can be fabulous…
Sitting in a bar, chatting with my girlfriends, it felt great to be out. I’d done my hair and make-up, thrown on some nice clothes and was enjoying catching up on the latest gossip.
But a guy came up to our table, started talking to me and asked me to join him for a drink. I was flattered of course, but he looked young.
When I asked his age, he told me he was in his late 20s and I laughed.
‘I’m 51,’ I told him.
‘I’ve got a thing about older women,’ he smiled flirtatiously, unfazed.
But with kids around his age, I politely declined his offer and got back to my friends.
This sort of attention was all new to me. I’d got divorced in May 2020 after more than two decades of marriage, but I was shocked at how many advances I’d been receiving from younger men. I’ve always believed that life’s short, and you should grasp every opportunity thrown at you.
And, as I’ve since discovered, sex with toy boys is a blast…
Growing up, my dad had been a musician and I’d gone from leading a privileged life in a big house, to being on a council estate with my mum when their relationship had broken down. I used to cram cardboard into my school shoes to make the worn-out soles last until the end of term. It taught me not to take anything for granted. I had a big heart, liked to help others and was an affectionate, tactile person.
Like many, I’d lost my virginity in my teens and had always enjoyed sex. It was a way of physically expressing how you felt, and passion was important.
I moved out of home aged 16 and got married in my early 20s to a lovely man who was older than me – and provided the much-needed stability I craved. It lasted for 18 months and whilst there were no hard feelings, we just didn’t work as a couple.
A few years later, I met a new man and fell in love. We got married and our physical relationship played an important part in our union. He was a great dad to my three kids, but as time moved on, the little things that are important in a marriage seemed to become less of a focus.
I spent time horse riding, keeping fit, taking care of the kids and, later, working in social care. I was fortunate that I was petite, had been blessed with good boobs and looked after my skin. People thought I was younger than my years, but I was faithful to my husband and if other men were interested in me, I wasn’t aware.
But by the end 2019, our marriage wasn’t working. It’d become emotionally draining
‘He made me feel like a goddess’
and, whilst I’d never wanted to put my kids through a divorce, ours was finalised in May 2020…
I’d continued with my work as a carer and helping others where I could. I shared pictures of me on social media and I was inundated with private messages from younger guys asking to get frisky or take me out on dates when restrictions lifted.
I thought it was wildly entertaining! There was one man that caught my eye, though. He was cheeky, we bantered a lot and work was important to the both of us. In his late 30s, he would be a toy boy, but not too young…
He suggested we met for a picnic near his home in Kent, so when restrictions allowed last Summer, we met up. I told my grown-up kids I was meeting a friend and left it at that – they were protective of me.
We had a brilliant date and surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous – I was excited. We got on so well we went on another date. As our relationship progressed, we rented a house nearby and whilst I thought it’d be strange sleeping with someone new after so long, it wasn’t.
He was complimentary about my body and
I wasn’t shy about being in my underwear. He made me feel like a goddess!
It was a bit of fun, great for my confidence and having sex was the release I needed.
We went on a couple more dates – and got frisky again, but at the time, neither of us was looking for anything serious. I certainly wasn’t rushing to be washing anyone’s dirty underwear!
I continued to get messages from younger men – including the saucy kind – and went on a couple of dates through a dating site too. I think the young men enjoyed my bluntness. I was too old to worry about what they thought and was happily enjoying my freedom.
I had a fling with two other guys in their mid-30s. These men liked a woman who knew what she wanted, and I’d been through too much to suffer fools. The youngest love interest I’ve had approach me was 21 and that was definitely too young to even contemplate! My son often tells me his mates fancy me too, but there are boundaries that should never be crossed!
I continue to enjoy sex and always joke it’s the only thing we haven’t yet been taxed on. This life isn’t a rehearsal and I intend to grow old disgracefully.
Why shouldn’t I enjoy myself, have fun and experience some of the best sex of my life at 51? Age is just a number. I’m always safe and I’m not hurting anyone.
Now, I’m back chatting to the man I met last year, and I’m still inundated with messages on social media from men.
I’m also a military pin-up model for supporting our paras and Help for Heroes. I’m even doing a skydive next month to help a family raise funds for a charity – Little Miracles – which supported their premature baby daughter, Harlow Hope.
I still look out for others, I’m just better at fulfilling my own needs now too.