Oh Carol! Who’s made her angry now?
‘Isuppose it was only a matter of time before Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, brought out a “tell-all” book of his life story. Never mind that there can’t possibly be anything left to tell, since he’s been spilling his guts every five minutes since he “quit” the Royal Family to have a more “private” life.
I have tried to defend this pair of mercenaries, but even I can’t do it any longer. I gave them a chance to put a pair of socks in their matching mouthpieces but no, it just goes on and on.
So, I can’t help imagining how this book might go.
Does he have some massively scandalous revelation about “The Family”? Or will it be more of the regurgitated “woe is me” tripe that he loves to spout?
I’m guessing the latter… Chapter One. I was born in 1984, my dad caused me pain and suffering but my mum was perfect. She died in 1997 and I’m convinced she was murdered in cold blood by the newspapers that she often loved to court for her own benefit.
Chapter Two. I was really unhappy until I met Meghan. She’s like, great at coming up with ruses to make millions off the back of my family. Who needs them? Not me! Apart from the titles, that is, and they can try to wrestle them from us but we deserve them because, let’s face it, we’d be nothing without them.
Chapter Three. Now we live in California and everything is perfect, which is why I have to keep going on about how horrid and cruel life can be being born into immense privilege, and why we live a simple life now. Just us and the entire population of the world know our business - and that’s just how we
like it.’
THEWAY I SEE IT... Wise words fromourfeisty, fearless and funny columnist