The great UNWASHED DEBATE

THEWAY ISEEIT... Wisewords fromourfeisty, fearless andfunny columnist

‘Hollywood stars like Jake Gyllenhaal, Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell have all come clean about not being particularly, er, clean – by admitting they don’t bathe or shower every day.

They’re not the only ones. A survey here in the UK recently found that as many as 50 per cent of those questioned didn’t either – and a huge 2 per cent actually admitted to only using wet wipes!

It also looked at other distasteful bathroom habits people readily admit to for some reason, like peeing in the shower – 71 per cent do! Even if I did that, I wouldn’t admit it!

But back to showering. I love a day off from the shower, mainly because I don’t enjoy it – only people with giant walk-ins and 3,000 power jets do. For everyone else, it’s a case of dancing around to get wet in a pathetic trickle and freezing as you get out. But also, I don’t feel I need to.

I don’t work in a coalmine or sweep chimneys, and I wear clean underwear every day, shower or not. I’m clean enough.

Anyway, who decided we should all use lots of water and potentially harmful detergents? Apart from not being environmentally-friendly, being too clean isn’t good for our health. Especially as we’ve spent the last 18 months cleaning ourselves and everything else to within an inch of its life. Well, I haven’t, because, as my old mum used to say, “You need a bit of dirt!” – and she was right.

I’m saving the planet and boosting my immune system – all at the same time. Oh, and no, I don’t stink!’