Squeeze me...

Furygan Sherman jacket Used for: 1 year Price: £399.99 Info: furygan.com

Ooh, this jacket’s a tight fit. Other office hang-arounders call me a waif, and yes I have a 36in chest. But getting into this item requires effort, even after a whole year’s stretching. Squeezing my (hardly) burly forearms through the tiny sleeves almost cuts off blood supply to my hands. This is the most I’ve ever suffered in the name of fashion. Practicalities are thin on the ground. There’s a removable thermal waistcoat, tiny pockets on the front and a larger one in the breast. Elbows are reinforced with extra leather, and the D3O shoulder and elbow armour is Level 1. Upgrade this, and the jacket becomes more crashable than its insanely high price point suggests. £400.