Fast chutney

Mike armitage makes utterly feeble excuses fora super charged pre-lock down run on a Kawasaki ZH 2

Mrs Armitage’s kitchen success with this autumn’s green tomato chutney coincides precisely with Boris announcing confinement. Surely these jars of delight need immediate pre-captivity delivery to friends and family to ensure their lockdown well being. I deploy the Kawasaki Z H2 test bike that has just arrived chez Armitage (aka Mrs A’s Pickle Paradise). There are naturally aspirated bikes making more power, and rival super nakeds that are lighter and festooned with greater levels of technology. I don’t care. The Zed has a supercharger, a glorious mechanical enhancement that’s far more compelling and exciting than any semi-active whatsit or multi-function thin gumy. Seeing the blown Kwak wedged in my garage among the Honda C50, kids’ bikes, skateboards and other clutter makes me weak at the knees. It’s not outright power that makes the Z H2 rock. It’s ease of use and the accessibility of its clout. With light controls, silky manners and upright stance it glides on the A6006 across Leicestershire, the blown four’s midrange and unrivalled response giving effortlessyet-explosive overtakes. On Derbyshire’s undulating lanes a sniff of gas amusingly pings the front up, but at speeds where a sportsbike is snoozing. Works on the dual carriageway into Staffordshire too – as well as an Akra’ pipe this Performance version has a surprisingly effective flip-up flyscreen. Set the cruise control and settle in.

I’m as fond of hairy supernakeds as the next headcase. But where a KTM Super Duke R or Ducati Streetfighter is always encouraging mad speed, the Z can saunter (vital to minimise jar chinking), but when needed can release nuclear firepower in a nanosecond. I get back to Condiment HQ after a 100-mile trip invigorated, in time for The Chase (Mrs A likes Brad), with all jars delivered intact.