BMW R1250GS
Some might say BMW have done a deal with the devil, surely they must have to keep the GS this good for this long. And the thing is there seems to be no let up, even after 40 years…
‘A shrug-it-off machine with real go-anywhere potential’
Waltz casually into your neighbourhood BMW dealer and they’ll sell you a GS for £13,705. But you don’t want that bike. No, you want the TE version with glitzy additions like dynamic traction, heated grips, semi-active bouncy bits, quickshifter, oodles of modes and a headlight that squints around corners. In for a penny, in for a pound. Or rather 3240 extra pounds. This R1250GS TE has even more adornments. It’s got the ‘Edition 40 Years’ option which tarts it up like an old R100GS, with a yellow screen, handguards, machined head covers and bench seat, for an un-snip-like £1990. Except this one also has a ‘pillion package’ that swaps the yellow screen and seat that you’ve paid for back to the stock bits. Add a few ‘Option 419’ trinkets, fog lights, bum warmers and a shapely Akrapovic pipe, and the man in the nicely-pressed branded shirt wants £21,690. This is clearly what a financial advisor would call ‘shit loads’. But the wallet-clenching figure will make no difference as to whether you wade in or not, and neither will anything that we say here. Because if you’ve decided you want a GS then nothing else will ever do.
BMW’S proposition is unique. Here’s a bike loaded with technology and of-the-moment features, such as electronic suspension and the ability to deliver turn-by-turn navigation, yet that looks and sounds like it could have rolled out of the Messerschmitt factory. The way it blends burbling character and a sense of robust old-school engineering with slick modernity can’t be bought anywhere else. And it works so, so, so damn well. Who’d have thought a misfit behemoth with a classic stickyout engine and oddball suspension would be the best-selling big bike year-after-year? We bought 2677 of the ruddy things in 2020 (GS and GS Adventure combined) – more than four times as many S1000XRS. ‘Surely the entire universe can be divided into those who already know how good the R1250GS is, and those who’re sick of being told how good it is,’ reckons Martin. ‘But it really is. The big boxer lacks the dulcet drama of the Ducati and the scorching speed of the XR, but makes it up with endless and effortless momentum.’ It feels unstoppable. With its burping 1254cc engine delivering immediate romping drive, the load-separating Telelever front end and the surreal ride quality of the single-sided rear, the GS floats over even the most dilapidated surface with fuss-free velocity. It has the plushest ride of the three bikes, and is the one with the greatest sense of being secure, unflappable and capable of nerfing DPD vans out the way. Ground-covering efficiency doesn’t mean the Beemer lacks wow. With 15 pound-feet more wallop than the Ducati and its peak delivered with far fewer revs, the motor delivers the greatest feeling of low-rev punch and makes the XR seem ludicrously over-geared. Agility in town makes its stablemate feel top heavy and like its front tyre needs some wind in it, too. And despite being the heaviest here at 258 kilos (9kg more than they claim) the 1250’s balance and ease of use at low speed are bewildering. Where does its blubber disappear to?
Equally bewildering is the dash. The ‘home’ screen is simple, classy and clear, but all the additional screens, layers of data and sub-menus are too much for my clogged brain to deal with on the move. It all works well enough, but the more straightforward dash on the Multi’ is easier to fathom and use. With backlit switches and radar gubbins the Ducati also out-gizmos the swankiest GS (even if this is like arguing an extra teaspoon of cream makes one giant trifle more luxurious than the next). The Italian is also smoother, has a better screen and is every bit as comfortable as the German. But what neither the Multi’ or XR give is the boxer’s temptation to bound down a green lane. The Ducati may be more adventurey than ever, but the rugged GS is the only one you’d think about getting dusty. It feels most like an adventure bike; a shrug-it-off machine with real go-anywhere potential.
‘As a fizzing, action-packed thrillseeker the GS is the third-most exciting,’ says Martin. ‘But as a complete all-round bike – with the added novelty of being the one you’d possibly consider taking down a green lane – it’s still the benchmark others should be measured against.’ But if you do buy an Edition 40 Years model, keep the funky yellow seat.