BMW S1000XR
An armchair strapped to an intergalactic missile, with a trendy little beak and the correct socially acceptable roundels. It must be good…
Chuffin’ nora, this is fast. Easily the lightest, most powerful and revviest bike here, the S1000XR turns open rolling A-roads into knotted garden paths, smudging the almostspring landscape into muddy greens that streak out from the vanishing point. Its 999cc four emits a sportsbike wail in its rush to 12,000rpm, forcing the BMW’S electronics into overtime as it tries to rotate the bike around the rear spindle on corner exits. Its chassis does little to discourage such loutish riding, feeling better the swifter the progress. ‘The S1000XR is the most focused, the most edgy, and its character feels the naughtiest,’ grins Martin. ‘It howls where the Ducati gurgles and the BMW thumps, and is the one doing the most authentic impression of a superbike on stilts.’
Which should be no surprise, given the XR takes its engine and frame from the UK’S best-selling sportsbike, the S1000RR. Seems unlikely, but basing an ‘adventure-sport’ model around a clip-on-shod race replica actually makes sense. Most adventure-style bikes never leave hard surfaces, so why not combine their benefits of upright control, comfort and presence with effortless power, handling accuracy and proper tyres? No questioning BMW’S theory. The XR’S ability to slice across the landscape at ridiculous pace but in upright comfort is remarkable. You can actually ride it faster than an S1000RR; the riding position means greater control, less fatigue and easier overtaking on today’s dishevelled and cluttered roads. Updated last year, the current XR is also the most refined and sophisticated version so far; the pointy bits from the RR have been made smoother, its design has been made more cohesive, and it comes with electronic suspension, many modes, phone connectivity, in-built pannier lugs and a gloriously simple screen adjuster as standard for £14,290. Another couple of grand for this TE adds cruise, heated grips, quickshifter, DRL, cornering lights, keyless ignition and more. Retuned from RR specification, the S1000XR still has a fat 165.6bhp (that’s 0.6bhp more than claimed) and delivers 10% more wallop than the superbike, spread more deeply in the midrange. There are Rain, Road, Dynamic and Dynamic Pro modes; only the latter has full torque in low gears, but you don’t notice – there’s so much oomph on offer even paranoia-inducing speed rarely needs more than half throttle. Despite this, the XR feels kind of hollow next to the Multistrada and GS. It hasn’t the high-gear roll-on flexibility of the Ducati or the low-rev punch of its stablemate. The inline four is also gruffest. Vibes aren’t as bad as on earlier S1000XRS (there’s a ’bar de-coupling system) but it still fizzes, especially through the footpegs. ‘The motor is the most powerful but also the tingliest,’ notes Martin. ‘I still can’t get on with the highfrequency vibration through ’bars and mirrors at motorway speed.’ The semi-active suspension got new valves, pistons and a pressure reduction last year for a comfier ride, with an adjustment range that allows it to be much softer. The ride’s certainly supple and comfy, but the shock can be floaty and disconnected on brisk bumpy B-roads. Change the setting to something with stricter control and the ride is noticeably sportier but a little too firm; it lacks the Ducati’s mix of control and ride quality. And though it feels nimble in isolation, backto-back shows the XR isn’t as agile sub-50mph as either of the others. Both the Multi’ and GS offer superior mile-eating as well. The XR has a short seat with limited front-to-rear wriggle room, giving a fixed riding position. The padding’s thin with curious contours (or my bum’s the wrong shape), and riding in textiles I keep gradually sliding into the tank. It also has the worst screen and mirrors. ‘For covering distance the XR is my last choice of these three,’ reckons Martin. ‘The 2020 update has made it a step more refined and sophisticated, but it still sits right at the pointy, aggressive end of the all-rounder spectrum.’ BMW say the XR ‘stands for the uncompromising combination of athleticism and long-distance performance’ and ‘is built for curve hunting’. They’re not far wrong – if you want a tall sportsbike it’s the go-to choice. It’s easily the cheapest bike here on like-for-like spec as well. But the other pair are superior all-round adventurers.
‘The S1000XR turns open rolling A-roads into knotted garden paths’