Verdict
‘It’s a device to make you feel good. Pure, laugh out loud comedy gold’
The Rocket 3 is a triumph of Triumph engineering. The sledgehammer engine is outstandingly torquey, but also ridiculously easy to use – if you’re not in the mood for drama it will waft you about like a scooter, albeit one the size of a ship. The only indication you’re riding something with a crank you could swap into a Massey Ferguson is when you blip the throttle and the bike dips left.
And the way it goes round corners is baffling. You look at the silly tyres, silly wheelbase and silly weight and assume it’ll be a weaving wobble-fest, and yet it’s not. The Rocket is genuinely great fun to hustle.
But despite all this, after three months and 1000 miles I still wasn’t sure why anyone would buy one. If you want to tour, you buy a tourer, not a drag bike with a fly screen. If you want a crazy naked, you buy the new Speed Triple 1200RS (or KTM or Ducati equivalents). If you want a cruiser you don’t need all that power so buy something with Harley on the tank.
Mike agrees. ‘I’m just not quite sure what I’d do with the Triumph beyond going for a blast on a Sunday morning and whooping,’ he says.’
As ever, our glorious leader has the answer. ‘I see the point of the Rocket 3 as being absolutely clear,’ says editor Hugo Wilson. ‘It’s a device to make you feel good. Whether you are just looking at it, or riding it, it’s hilarious. Pure, laugh out loud comedy gold. Obviously there are better bikes to ride if you are 600 miles from your destination and it’s raining, but so what? Just book into a hotel and wait for the sun to come out.’