BIKE (UK)

Eclectic machinery about any corner. It’s all about the right mindset, the machinery and the people you share it with. My choice for today’s easy-grin shenanigan­s is a Mash Two Fifty, a lightweigh­t 249cc single-cylinder retro that should be at home flick

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Resisting the draw of Burton’s Cholmeley Arms, we warble towards Bassingtho­rpe and Boothby Pagnell, and decide to dart east – I think – towards Ingoldsby (the most southerly point of the Ropsley Triangle, apparently). Our eclectic assortment of machinery makes perfect sense frolicking down these narrow high-hedge lanes. With restricted visibility, tight confines and a corrugated surface our bikes’ modest performanc­e feels plenty – especially with my rosy face exposed to the breeze in an open-face hat. Jiggling along in a swarm and sharing stupid looks (at which Bruce is an expert), it’s all pleasingly engaging.

If the Monkey is as joyous to ride as it is amusing to look at with a six-foot teenager aboard, it’s no wonder Ed’s grinning. ‘It’s not just more fun than I thought it’d be, but nicer to ride,’ he says, as we stop to look at more place names we don’t recognise. ‘It’s a proper bike, not half a bike. I’m surprised how quickly it accelerate­s, and it handles better than I expected too – I thought it would be unstable with the little wheels. I feel like I can keep up and that I’m not holding back the group. And obviously I look coolest.’

Swinging around tight, winding roads the 124cc Honda certainly fits in (it has just 9.25bhp but weighs half what the 24bhp Scram does) and its top speed of 60mph or so matches the happy thrumming speed of the Mash and Enfield. It’s only on straighter, wider B-roads that the larger bikes have obviously longer legs.

On such stretches the Mash incites eager throttle wrenching. Its 249cc, two-valve, SOHC single-cylinder engine is based on the Suzuki TU250 and feels perky when you hold onto gears and let it rev. High-spirited side-by-side comparison shows it gets the jump on the ultimately stronger Scram away from the line, too. ‘When you let rip the Mash goes well,’ shouts Bruce from behind his

Battle of the

Planets visor.

This example’s blocky form-overfuncti­on tyres make the

 ?? ?? Dad, son and racer: days such as these are gold dust
Monkeying about: 17-year-old Ed, not wasting his life on social media
Dad, son and racer: days such as these are gold dust Monkeying about: 17-year-old Ed, not wasting his life on social media
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