‘I love my life... but I can’t deal with this pain’

Student’s tragic death at university may have been ‘cry for help’, says coroner

AN Aston University student was found hanged at his halls of residence just two days after his mother said he seemed happy when she spoke to him.

Languages undergraduate Sam Croydon was discovered in his room by security staff, on September 25 last year.

An inquest heard he left a note and had drunk alcohol, which could have impaired his thinking.

The coroner said she could not be sure if the 21-year-old intended to commit suicide or was making a cry for help.

Birmingham Coroner’s Court heard Mr Croydon had just started the fourth and final year of a languages degree when he died.

His mother, Susan Croydon, said he spent the summer holidays either at home in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, or Germany, where he had been a teaching assistant at a school on a work placement.

She said he seemed happy when she spoke to him two days before he died, had lots of social events planned and was glad to be back in Birmingham with his friends.

But Mr Croydon’s body was found by workers at the university’s Aston Street halls after his friends raised the alarm when he failed to attend lectures.

There was evidence he had been drinking, the inquest heard, and a notebook containing what the court was told was a suicide note was also found.

This was headed: “In the untimely event of my death” and gave details of the PIN to his phone, as well as passwords to his social media accounts.

It also said: “I love my life but I can no longer deal with this pain,” and added he felt very loved and no-one was to blame.

Pathologist Dr Adrian Warfield said Mr Croydon was found to have consumed a “significant” amount of alcohol – more than twice the legal limit for driving.

The inquest heard he had a history of mental illness dating from 2011, but had been fully discharged by a mental health team a year later.

Sally-Jane Holgate, head of student wellbeing at Aston University, said an investigation into the tragedy revealed Mr Croydon had used a student counselling service in his first and second years.

During those sessions, he told therapists how the pressure of helping other students with their mental health problems had affected his wellbeing.

At times he felt “depressed and helpless”, and in his second year sought help again, saying he had feelings of self-harm and suicide.

But, when pressed by the counsellor if he would ever kill himself, he answered “no”.

Fellow student and close friend, Rosie Wright, told the inquest she last saw Mr Croydon at 8pm the night before his death. She went to bed in a flat upstairs, but awoke the next day to find two missed messages from Sam.

One, timed at 2am, said: “Can you come down?” The next at 3.50am said: “Don’t feel guilty”.

Ms Wright said she became concerned when he missed two lectures and raised the alarm.

Asked by coroner Emma Brown if, with hindsight, she thought Mr Croydon was suicidal, she replied: “Yes, I believe there were signs he would take his own life.”

Ms Brown said there was evidence Mr Croydon had intended to take his own life.

But there were more factors indicating he had not meant to commit suicide, she went on.

She said those included the WhatsApp messages he sent to Ms Wright, the fact he’d drunk a large amount of alcohol, his mental health issues were mild and a lack of previous attempts.

“This may have been a cry for help and people were meant to find him,” Ms Brown said. “For that reason I cannot say it is likely it was his intention to take his own life – there are too many uncertainties.”

She recorded a conclusion that Mr Croydon’s death was due to deliberate actions taken by him with his intentions being unknown.