Losing a baby was but it’s not healthy to bottle it up and carry on
CHRIS RAMSEY TALKS TO GABRIELLE FAGAN ABOUT HIS ‘BRILLIANT’ WIFE, WHY WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT MISCARRIAGE, AND HOW COMEDY KEEPS HIM UP AT NIGHT
tour last year was so amazing it made me cry. A self belief that you’re funny is essential, but you’re always thinking, ‘Is this the last tour I’ve got in me, is this the last joke I’ll ever write?’
HOW DO YOU APPROACH WORK?
YOU’VE got to stay humble. The moment you’ve got that swagger and think, ‘I’m brilliant’, then you’re not funny any more.
It’s not like music or sport, you can’t practise it because a routine can’t stay the same for live shows. It has to be fresh. I’m always adding stuff – things I’ve just seen or heard or experienced – and dropping bits.
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO REVEAL YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR WIFE’S MISCARRIAGE?
THAT was a very tough time for both of us, but we wanted to be open about it and share the experience, which happens to so many people. It’s affected me massively. Some days, you find yourself down – you’ll be watching TV and someone’s pregnant, or you see a friend has had a baby and you just get a little twinge of what you haven’t got.
It’ll be hard in March when the baby was due, but we’ll get through it.
Rosie and I support each other, love each other very much, and something like that happening puts all your little worries into perspective. We have one healthy, thriving little boy, and what doesn’t pull you apart makes you even closer.
If we get pregnant again, we’re going to announce it from the first pregnancy test. It seems a really antiquated approach that you can’t say anything about being pregnant until 12 weeks, in case it goes t**s up. Then if it does, you have to brush it under the carpet and carry on. I don’t think it’s healthy to bottle it up, and why should you go through that on your own?
DO YOU AND ROSIE SHARE A LOVE OF HUMOUR?
WE met at school, got together in 2012, and married in 2014, and even in my stupidest, most childish moments where most people would find me annoying, she jumps on board with the humour.
She’s brilliant, talented, and very funny. While I was away touring last year, she was bored so she started on Instagram talking about her life and parenting and it’s gone crazy. This year we’re doing a podcast together.
HAS BEING A PARENT CHANGED YOUR LIFE AND YOUR COMEDY?
I’M a total panicky parent. I genuinely worry about everything that could befall him, 24/7. The other day, I watched a TV show about someone’s broken romance, and started worrying, ‘What if Robin gets his heart broken one day?’
Rosie thinks I’m mad. I still can’t believe I’m someone’s parent, because I don’t feel grown up yet.
Robin and I are bonding on a love of Lego. I have 30 sets of Star Wars Lego, which I build and he smashes to bits. Recently, he demanded, ‘Daddy, build your Lego’, while he watched The Lego Movie. I built the Statue of Liberty and realised: he’s babysitting me! Which makes me think I’ve cracked fatherhood.
HOW DO YOU APPROACH WELLBEING?
I TRY to be upbeat but sometimes it’s hard because I live inside my own head too much. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with ideas, and then can’t sleep because I’m buzzing. Observing makes me prone to over-analysing and over-thinking, which can make me panicky and things can get on top of me.
Meditating helped but stupidly I haven’t kept it up. You can also throw in my ‘grass is always greener’ symptoms. On tour, I dream of being at home, but when I’m at home I’m thinking, ‘It’d be great to be touring’. When I’m with Robin, I think it would be good to have some alone time but when he’s not there, I miss him like crazy.
DO YOU LOOK AFTER YOUR HEALTH?
I DON’T look after my health as much as I should, apart from eating vegetables and drinking lots of water. Luckily, I’ve got an amazingly good metabolism and never put on weight.
It frustrates my wife that I don’t pile on the pounds or take more care. When my metabolism slows down, I’ll have to go to the gym and stop eating chips, but for now I’m going to enjoy it.