Mother’s twin joy turned to tragedy following sepsis
Infection meant immediate caesarean then heartbreak
CHARLOTTE Cowman was shocked when she discovered she was having twins. But it was a happy surprise, and though daunted by the journey ahead, she was excited. Sadly, that happiness soon turned to despair, after her waters broke unexpectedly at 23 weeks.
She was transferred to Birmingham Women’s Hospital’s specialist neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) for premature babies and staff did their best to keep her comfortable whilst trying to delay the onset of her labour.
However, Charlotte was dealt a bitter blow after a swab revealed she had an infection, which had turned to sepsis.
It meant that birth could no longer be delayed and she had to have a Caesarean section.
Her tiny babies Tia Mae and Eli were born very poorly on February 28, 2020, just ahead of the first Covid lockdown.
As she was still recovering from her general anaesthetic, Charlotte didn’t see the babies until the next day.
“I went down to see the babies, who were in different rooms, and remember being really apprehensive about what to expect,” said Charlotte, from Redditch in Worcestershire.
“I saw my boy, Eli, first. He was just so tiny – the size of my hand – and so blue. It was a shock, but as soon as I touched him I felt a wave of relief.”
She then went to see her daughter, Tia Mae, who looked a lot healthier than Eli, although they were both very poorly.
As the days progressed, Tia Mae seemed to be coping well, despite a couple of setbacks.
However, it was clear just how sick Eli was, and there was a very real chance he wouldn’t make it.
“I had started grieving for my baby before he died... but what I didn’t know is that it was the wrong one,” said Charlotte.
On their 13th day on NICU, Tia Mae’s heart rate dropped suddenly.
Charlotte watched from outside Tia Mae’s room as the doctors and nurses worked to save her but, after half an hour, the doctor came and told a hysterical Charlotte that there was nothing more they could do.
Charlotte went in and held Tia Mae in her arms while she died.
When the time came to say goodbye to Tia Mae, Charlotte wrapped her up and took her down to the mortuary in the basement of the hospital.
Charlotte, who has three older children, said: “I just remember
thinking, ‘oh my god, I have to leave my baby here?’
“We passed what looked like a service entrance, there were spare beds on the side. It just looked so industrial. I had only just lost Tia Mae, but this felt like another trauma I had to endure.”
Unfortunately for Charlotte, she didn’t have much time to grieve properly, with Eli still poorly. In total, he was in hospital for four months, and there were at least three occasions when she thought
she was about to lose him. But he pulled through, and it was an emotional goodbye for Charlotte and the NICU team after so much time together.
Due to his premature birth, Eli is deaf, has lung disease and other developmental issues, but Charlotte is thankful for every day that he’s still here.
Charlotte says: “Going through an experience like this, it completely changes your outlook on life. You’re changed forever, it can never go back to how it was before, but I’ve had to come to terms with that. This trauma has made me who I am today.”
Now Charlotte wants to support other families who have tragically lost a baby and has pledged her support to Birmingham Women’s Hospital Charity’s mission to raise the next £1 million for its Woodland House Appeal.
Woodland House will be a purpose-built centre offering a safe and serene bereavement centre where parents can receive the best aftercare following their baby loss.
It will feature separate and private access and will boast bespoke counselling rooms, a private garden, a large communal lounge area for support groups and a family room with its own private access and garden.
There will also be a private and sensitive mortuary, offering families the opportunity to spend time with their loved ones in comfort and serenity – something that Charlotte says would have made a massive difference to her experience.
“I know that if Woodland House had been here, that would have saved me from the extra pain of that horrible feeling,” added Charlotte.
I had started grieving for my baby before he died...but what I didn’t know is that it was the wrong one
Charlotte Cowman