Shoes ’n Confusion

Yo wun lucky to have a pair of shoes Our dad told us more than once So poor wun we, we had one pair between three So yo can imagine, we had a merry dance.

And often the old man’s words come back Especially when I’m stressed You see, I have the choice of three And that really puts me to the test.

I’ve got one pair for the garden They stand by the back door I’ve got a pair for general wear And they stand in the hall.

Then I’ve got a pair of slippers For walking round the house I take off my shoes and these I use To avoid spreading mud about.

A simple system you might think But there are times when I despair For I get confused by which shoes to use I stop and think, which do I wear?

So coming in from work one night I swap my shoes for slippers Then I remember, in the morning the bin men are coming So I’m up and down stairs fetching litter.

Then I have to change into my good shoes once more To go out front, put the stuff in the bin It’s all very wet and I nearly forget To put my slippers on when I go in.

Oh yes, and I’ve got to get the washing in I suddenly recall. It won’t be very dry, think I Leaving slippers by the back door.

Then into my gardening shoes Mud-caked and grass adhering To the leather, they’d seen all weathers And lots of wear and tearing.

It’s still a little damp, I find It might well need a tumble And once again I forget, and nearly step Into the kitchen, dry mud all a-crumble.

So back into my slippers again Leaving old shoes by the door I’m starting to get tired of how my feet should be attired For this room and that room, what a chore!

By this time I’ve had enough It really is getting past a joke. I’m going for a drink So off I go to the Lutley Oak.

Just for the one you understand I’m not one of those habitual sippers So I walk in and from the bar, all a grin Jasmine says, ‘Ooh, I like your slippers!’