I want to pick up a prescription at the chemist’s, not a complex
Plans for pharmacists to chat to customers about their bad habits are NICE idea, but my nightmare
PUBLIC humiliation comes in many forms. There is the red-cheeked mortification when you find the work colleague you’ve been gossiping about has heard every word. The frustrated embarrassment when your toddler lies screaming mid-tantrum on the shop floor.
Or the morning-after-the-nightbefore shame when you realise that drunkenly dancing the Lambada on a table at the office party was perhaps not your best career move.
And top of the pile – if you’ll pardon the pun – is a visit to the chemist.
There is something squirminducing in having to interact with a stranger across a counter about your most intimate of issues.
I can remember the embarrassment of asking for a pregnancy test kit from a middle-aged pharmacist with a stern perm and unsmiling manner.
I felt like I was seeking out pornography. I was 30 at the time.
Now the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence has released advice advocating pharmacists ‘start conversations’ with customers about their lifestyle choices.
This is aimed at those people who need to lose weight but may also include general inquiries about alcohol and cigarette use.
Dear God, what fresh hell is this? Isn’t it bad enough that chemists, get to be fully appraised of our athlete’s foot without us now being forced to discuss how fat we are?
I get why NICE thinks this is a good idea. Pharmacies are uniquely placed to give health advice. Pharmacists are well trained and anything which relieves the pressure on GPs and the NHS in general is worth considering.
But I, and I suspect many others, do not want to talk about my dietary choices (crisps), alcohol intake (ahem) and likelihood of completing a 10k run (nil) while people behind me queue for plasters.
Worse, my nearest chemist is located inside a Tesco. The fresh bread aisle is not the place to chat about thigh chaffing. Nor is a supermarket, with its two-for-one biscuit offers, ideal for someone who needs advice on weight loss.
And don’t tell me chemists have ‘private rooms’. Being spotted going in there can only mean it’s serious or seriously embarrassing. Either way, the neighbours will talk.
So no thanks NICE, I’ll stick to asking for Covonia or Piriton from my pharmacist. If I want to seek out personal humiliation there’s always the dance floor.