Can I dig it? Yes, I can...
IT has been said, by certain folk, that this column could easily be called, The Diary of a Difficult Grandad. Which is a bit harsh, to my mind. But not a million miles wide of the mark. One of the reasons for this slanderous suggestion, is that I have a reputation for being impossible to buy presents for. Because I already have everything I want. Which is ridiculous. Seriously. These people have obviously not been listening hard enough. Everyone knows that when it comes to gifts for men, especially this man right here, a bottle of whisky fits the bill. Always. No exceptions. Every single time.
Except for small bottles, of course. They’re a complete waste of time and packaging.
Still, turns out not everyone wants to hand over bottles of whisky at every festive opportunity. They want to give something more expressive, emotional and exciting. Apparently. Which is pretty weird in itself, to be honest. Not sure there are many things which make a sensible soul feel more expressive, emotional and excited than a large bottle of good old Scottish firewater. But I digress.
Point is, luckily for my friends, family and anyone else who has ever wondered what to buy the man who has everything, I now know exactly what every man wants. What he really, really wants. No exceptions. Every single man. Ever. Even if he doesn’t know he wants it yet, trust me, he does really. Deep down.
It’s a digger. All of his very own. That’s right, you heard me, a digger. An honest to goodness, bigger than a bubble car, mini digger made of sweat and steel. Not that you actually have to buy the thing. Oh, no, perish the thought. That would be ridiculous. Who has room for a double tracked beast the size of a giraffe in their life? Hardly anyone. Well, not full time, anyway.
No, what we’re talking about here, people, is renting one for the weekend. Giving the man in your life two days of complete bliss.
Let me explain how I found this out. And please forgive me if I get a little over excited and emotional. That’s what happens when diggers enter the conversation.
It all started when I walked past a mate’s garden recently. Couldn’t help but notice one of his fence panels was missing. Leaving an odd shaped hole in his boundary section. As I stood there pondering what could possibly have done such a thing, my mate appeared. And my heart skipped a beat. Not at the sight of my mate. Nope. We’re close, but not that close. The excitement
was aimed at what he was driving. A digger. It reversed slowly out of his garden then twisted round on its tracks and trundled on over to a nearby skip. Which was already half filled. As you can imagine, dear reader, my interest was more than a little piqued. I went over for a closer look. As you do. At which point, he asked me if I would like to have a go. So naturally, I did. As you do.
Long story short, he explained the controls, gave me a demo, explained there was lots to do, then climbed down and took over the role of supervisor while I got busy with having fun. Serious fun. Makes me wonder why I’ve wasted so many years not driving one of these things. What was I thinking?
Sitting in the cab is like having a video game come to life in front of your very eyes. Except, it is real and big. And a whole lot more fun than any video game I have ever played or seen.
There are levers and grips and buttons and beepy things all over the shop. Honestly, it is like climbing into gadget heaven. Of course, it helps that these machines are serious bits of kit. They can carry up to a ton in their front scoop, apparently, could easily do an awful lot of damage to anything that gets in their way. Which, in truth, adds somewhat to the enjoyment.
I could go on, but you get the picture. Over the next couple of days I spent far more time than was reasonable shifting soil and blitzing anything that came in range. My son popped over and had a go, as did a couple of my grandkids. All in all, it was a thing of joy to behold. And to play in.
So there. Now you know what to get the man, or woman, in your life that has everything. And if they don’t like it. Give me a buzz. I’ll be over in a shot!
Hope you and yours are safe, well and happy.
Until next time, all the best