Tommy’s top jokes

“I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.”

“I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure”

“I had a ploughman’s lunch the other day. He wasn’t very happy.”

“I’ve been on the whisky diet – I’ve already lost three days!”

“A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot.”

“I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.”

“Two fish in a tank, one says to the other – you drive I’ll man the guns.”