Difficulties of living with a brain injury by mother in car crash
AMOTHER who suffered a traumatic head injury in a serious car crash has spoken out about the difficulties of parenting in the aftermath of such an event.
In 2010, Rebecca Jones was an 18-year-old passenger in a car when the vehicle lost control near Deiniolen in Gwynedd.
The car left the road, went down an embankment, became airborne and clipped a tree before landing on its roof.
Sadly the driver Peter Dacre, 28, suffered serious multiple injuries and died at the scene.
Rebecca, who is now 28, hit her head in the accident, which resulted in post-traumatic amnesia and meant she couldn’t remember the sequence of events leading up to her injury.
She has since had to piece together the information about the accident that she’s been given by others, and has to live with the lasting effects of her injury which include fatigue, memory problems and behavioural issues.
Five years after the accident, Rebecca became pregnant and had her first son Theo, but the hidden effects of her injury have made her role as a mother far more difficult than she ever anticipated.
Rebecca, from Deiniolen, said: “It can be really difficult at times because I’ve changed so much since the accident.
“I always used to be out and about, socialising and hanging out with friends, but now the fatigue means I’m constantly exhausted and can’t do the things I used to enjoy.
“The memory loss has also presented its own challenges and I can find it difficult to concentrate at times, which means I lose my temper.”
On one occasion, Rebecca forgot that Theo’s school was hosting a fancy dress day, and instead she sent him to school in his uniform.
She said: “It really upset me. I was absolutely heartbroken and I felt as though I’d let Theo down.
“I just remember crying about it so much – it destroyed me.
“I had to run home to fetch him something to change in to, but just thinking about him stood in his uniform while all his friends were in their costumes breaks my heart.
“It’s hard enough being a mum at times, let alone being a mum who’s constantly fatigued and forgets almost everything.
“It can be really challenging being a parent with a brain injury.”
Rebecca said that her phone is now her “brain” as she tries to cope with the effects of the crash.
“Everything I need to know and remember is on there, either in my notepad app or calendar,” she said.
“It’s been a lifesaver. I’ve also been able to use certain software, such as a voice reader, to help me remember upcoming events.
“When Theo’s school send me an email, the software I’ve downloaded reads it out loud for me, then I can quickly jot any information down in my calendar so I don’t forget it.”
Rebecca has also received help from the Gwynedd branch of brain injury charity Headway, and says that chairperson Nicola Brown has been a constant source of support for her.
“When I found out that Nicola had a brain injury as well, it made me feel as though I had someone to talk to who really understood what I was going through,” she said.
“Not only that, but everyone at Headway is in the same boat.
“People are able to share their experiences and tips for managing the effects of their injury.
“It’s a really great environment to be a part of.”
Rebecca, who is pregnant with her second child, says that if she could give one piece of advice to other parents with a brain injury, it would be to ask for the help and support of loved ones.
“I’ve got a wonderful support system made up of friends and family,” she said.
“They’ve been there for me after the brain injury, and again when I had Theo.
“It’s really important to surround yourself with people who care and want to help out. It can make such a huge difference.”