It doesn’t matter which twin is best – they
IT’S frowned upon to have a favourite child but you can certainly select the best one by assessing their abilities.
The good thing about childhood development is the winner of ‘Best Twin’ can alternate as they develop.
Of course, I never inform them of my decision, but if they do ever discover the league table, they’ll be reassured to see they have both been winners over the years.
There are categories when it comes to assessing who’s going to triumph in the battle of the twins. The first is obedience, and it’s tight at the top as neither of them listens to a word I say.
If I were to pick who is more likely to act on a command, it would be Thomas, as Emma does what she wants without a thought for rules or regulations, whereas he might listen – unless it’s getting dressed, when he refuses to wear anything apart from outfits featuring dinosaurs.
Helpfulness is the second category, and this is hard to judge because I don’t really want help as it’s easier to do it yourself rather than have a couple of four- year-olds interfering.
However, Emma has proved herself to be worthwhile when emptying the dishwasher. She hands me items and I put them in the cupboards, which saves me both time and effort.
The system has encountered difficulties over knives, but I’ve given very strict instructions to always grab the handle and never the blade to save injury.
On that basis, Emma takes victory – although I’ve had pet rabbits who’ve been more helpful around the house. Category three is running
speed and, after years of being second best, Thomas has finally taken the lead here, giving him no end of pleasure.
We rarely go anywhere without them trying to beat each other in a sprint and it’s nice to see an underdog flourish.
The final category is leadership skills, and it’s difficult to assess how appropriate this in relation to children.
Mind you, I’m not sure it’s appropriate to stage a competition to find the best child, so we may as well explore who’s got the greatest ability to take charge and manage any situation.
There’s a clear winner here and it’s been the same from the time they were born – Emma tells Thomas what to do and where to do it, from the moment she wakes, to the time she falls asleep.
At some points in the day, I see him frantically trying to carry out her commands and feel such sympathy, he wins this category by default for having the mental capacity to cope with the bossy woman in his life.
And with that, Thomas takes the ‘Best Twin’ trophy, although I’ll probably hold off compiling a leader board for the kitchen wall just yet, to encourage competition.