Left playing ketchup when it comes to
“I don’t like it,” Emma barked at me, as she eyed her melted cheese and tomato on toast.
“You like them all, so that’s just those things together,” I said fearing the decision was already made.
It’d been a long morning and my desire to argue wasn’t there, so I left her with a simple, “whatever”.
Thankfully, this apathetic style of parenting was just what she needed as she eyed the concoction suspiciously, tried it and proceeded to eat the rest.
Leave them to it was my latest finding and was destined to join the rest of my nutritional discoveries, which I’ll share, because children are all very different, but I suspect they’re united by their taste in foods.
1. Anything coated in batter or breadcrumbs is always acceptable and never refused. The chicken nugget remains the easiest way to feed the twins a hearty mixture of protein and saturated fat.
2. This principle also applies to anything deep fried and is reflected in their limitless appetite for chips. After some confusion in a restaurant, Emma ended up with an adult sized portion of fish and chips. I assumed she’d leave what she couldn’t eat, but with miraculous mental fortitude, she ate it all.
Ice cream can be used as both a reward and a threat to force compliance. Simply suggesting they might lose the right to eating it at some point in the future will
encourage obedience. Although they are realising we always crumble and let them eat it whatever we said earlier.
4. Children instinctively know what contains the highest level of fat on a plate and will always eat that first.
5. Anything can benefit from generous quantities of ketchup. But we did have to cut quantities when they started doing a bottle a week.
6. They are pre-programmed to seek out and demand anything involving fat and sugar. The first time Thomas tried chocolate, his eyes widened as he seemed to say, “this is it, this is what
I’ve been looking for, life will never be the same”. Unfortunately, this means any visit to anywhere can be overshadowed by demands for anything from fudge to a pain au chocolat.
7. They will eat unexpected items if given the chance. Houmous is an example and something I wasn’t aware of until I hit 25, but they will enjoy it with pickled beetroot.
8. Finally, it’s pointless trying to convince them cabbage is better than ice cream. It’s not. All we can do is give a balanced choice then watch in horror as they smother it with ketchup.