HERMETI BALARIN

Executive creative director, Mother

Ana and I have agreed to not see/discuss/sneak-peek each other’s Private View column before it comes out in the magazine. To make this more interesting, I decided to guess what Ana will say for each entry.

So welcome to this week’s The Newlywed Game, where I’ll be testing my knowledge of her creative barometer through Private View’s selected work.

Ana will most likely find Co-op boring. Or maybe forgettable, even. She could describe it as wallpaper. Maybe say it is nice or gentle. She will definitely say that she has seen this style of ad before.

Three. She will probably think it is quirky and fun. Potentially say it’s the best of the bunch. Maybe also say that it’s not as good as singing cherries or drunken cowboys of yesteryears. But could say that it at least tried to be different. She might have a beef with the American voiceover.

Vodafone. I doubt very much Ana will find this funny. Clichéd, perhaps. Maybe even heavy-handed. She could say: “Martin Freeman can do a lot better.” And question why the brand has changed campaigns since previous work was stronger than this.

Superdry. She will have to use the word “millennials” to talk about this film. That won’t make her happy. She will most likely think that this ad is trying to be too cool. She could accuse it of trying to do the right thing but failing. And she will most likely criticise it for being a manifesto.

Kelly’s of Cornwall. Odds are high that she will find this boring and repetitive. She may even call it obvious or overly simplistic. Unmemorable, even.

So there you go. Now everyone reading this will know how much or how little I know my work and life partner through this week’s batch of work. I hope I haven’t got her completely wrong. Although I have a feeling that I might have.

Just in case anyone’s wondering, here’s what I thought of them. THREE is the bravest of the lot, even if it has its own flaws. SUPERDRY ended up making an ad to advertise to the target audience who most hates things that sound like ads. KELLY’S OF CORNWALL and CO-OP are so wallpaper-like that I’ve already forgotten about them, a day after watching both. And, last but not least, could VODAFONE have gone any more clichéd with its new ad? Poor

Martin Freeman. Hope he’s getting very well paid for this work.