Campaign UK - - PROMOTION -

Here are a few ques­tions from years ago that I never got around to an­swer­ing: Q My agency doesn’t have a branded con­tent di­vi­sion. Are we square?

No. Ex­tremely sen­si­ble. Q

Why are all ads for tourist des­ti­na­tions so uni­ver­sally bad?

Ad­ver­tis­ing has no place for such smug cer­tain­ties. Q

I want to launch a me­dia comms plan­ning agency and am in the process of pick­ing part­ners. Is there a max­i­mum num­ber and what should I be look­ing for from each part­ner?

Three, in­clud­ing you. High in­tel­li­gence and like­abil­ity. Q Dear Jeremy, Is it me or has the in­dus­try lost its teeth? It looks like it has just laid down over the junk-food ad­ver­tis­ing bans. Where has its fight gone? Wisely, it’s learned to fight only the wars it de­serves to win. And there are plenty of those. Q An agency man­ag­ing di­rec­tor writes: Tricky one, this. One of my best ac­count di­rec­tors suf­fers from ter­ri­ble hal­i­to­sis. How do I broach this sub­ject with him?

Tell him, though not in front of other peo­ple, that his breath would fell an ox. Q I want to re­duce the car­bon foot­print of my com­pany.

It’s not go­ing to be easy, but I re­ally be­lieve it’s im­por­tant. Is it fair to im­pose re­stric­tions on staff in or­der to re­duce emis­sions? (I’m think­ing of with­draw­ing free car park­ing and com­pany cars, for in­stance.) En­tirely fair. (What are you plan­ning to do next?) Q Dear Jeremy, Is Google go­ing to rule the world?

No. But we need to work out how the world can rule Google. Q

Why did the agency chief ex­ec­u­tive cross the road? What a silly ques­tion. To get more money. Q

What do you think of the name Adam & Eve for a In­spired.start-up? Q

What is a ‘sur-com­mis­sion’ and is it bet­ter than the or­di­nary kind?

I haven’t the faintest idea. Q

Did you ever meet Rosser Reeves, and what was his fal­lacy?

No. Like clas­si­cal economists, he be­lieved hu­man be­ings are ra­tio­nal. Q

Is ad­ver­tis­ing too white, too male and too mid­dle-class? For what? For sales? Or for our col­lec­tive so­cial con­science? Q I have to take Cam­paign out to lunch but can’t choose a restau­rant – any rec­om­men­da­tions?

Pret a Manger. And Dutch. Q

Dear Jeremy, Was ad­ver­tis­ing re­ally more glam­orous and sexy back in the 1960s and 1970s? And, if so, do you think the in­dus­try is worse off for los­ing some of that magic?

Yes. Yes. Q A num­ber of the lon­ger­estab­lished cre­ative agen­cies have philoso­phies of ad­ver­tis­ing such as ‘Truth well told’, ‘Dis­rup­tion’ and ‘Bru­tal sim­plic­ity of thought’. Are such mantras ir­rel­e­vant for the newer ‘dig­i­tal’ agen­cies op­er­at­ing in the on­line space? They’ve al­ways been ir­rel­e­vant. Q In a re­cent speech, Sir Martin Sor­rell sug­gested that in fu­ture mar­ket­ing would need to be about get­ting peo­ple to con­sume less rather than more. Would he also ex­pect fu­ture Olympians to com­pete to come last? No. Q

Should Lloyds TSB bring back the black horse? Yes. Q

What is the sil­li­est ques­tion you have ever been asked, and by whom?

This. You. Good­bye.

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