Valeting on a budget
Advice on the best cleaning products and techniques.
Ido it in the rain. I do it in sunshine. I do it during the day. I do it at night. I prefer to do it outdoors, but I’ve been known to do it behind closed doors. I even do it when people are watching. I’m talking about valeting cars.
Although many people regard cleaning their car as a chore that’s to be done as infrequently as possible or else leave it to a professional valeter, I take great pleasure in the whole process. As such, I’m happy to regularly valet cars for friends and family, and have a constant queue of those who aren’t automotively-inclined looking to brighten up their vehicles. With years of experience, I’d like to share the benefit of everything I’ve learned.
So instead of running down to your local car wash, with their high-powered jetwashers, harsh chemicals and dirty vats of water, I’d like to give you some advice on how you can do a very professional job on a limited budget.
I’ve wasted much money on so-called wonder products over the years, but I have worked out what works and what doesn’t, and can personally recommend everything mentioned here and vouch for the results. All of the products here should be available at your local motor factors or else online. I’ll also give a few tips on cutting down on time and elbow grease.
Wash & rinse system
I’m sure everyone knows about the twobucket wash – one bucket for washing and the other for rinsing – so I’ll not go over that again, except to show you the residue when the wash bucket is emptied. 1 You really don’t want to slop that back onto your newly-cleaned car by not using fresh water for rinsing. I use a couple of black builders’ buckets from Tesco, which cost a couple of quid each, and I always use a grit guard. 2 This one is adjustable and costs less than a tenner.
The car I’m washing here is a rather grubby Ford Mondeo that’s used for commuting on back roads, so it’s always a magnet for road dirt. This is usually layered quite thickly due to a combination of our pitiful roads and heavy machinery.
I use a small Kärcher power washer, bought at Tesco for around £50 in a sale, along with a snowfoam lance, which cost approximately £10. 3 The washer did come with its own lance, but the reservoir was tiny and you would need to fill it twice to do a car, whereas I like to be able to cover from end to end in one go. You only need the snowfoam lance when you’re dealing with really heavy grime.
With snowfoam, I’ve found the end result is always pretty much the same whether you use an expensive or budget brand. I get decent results from Ultimate Car Supplies Wash & Shampoo, 4 which smells quite nice; a pair of fivelitre bottles cost around £10 delivered. I like to apply it on thickly 5 – wheels and all – then just leave it to soak while I go and fill my wash bucket with warm water and shampoo. A good shampoo is worth investing in – you use less of the more expensive ones per wash, so they really are better value in the long run.
When I get back, the snowfoam will have started to run down, and by the time I have removed the snowfoam lance and reconnected the jet, it’s ready for the next stage. Starting with the roof, use the power washer to rinse off the foam. Working from top to bottom, you can normally trace the dirt quite easily as you go, down to the sills and wheels. 6 Don’t forget to open the doors and carefully jet the inner sills. It’s quite amazing how different the car will look already.
Wet body
Now you can starting working on the bodywork with the warm water and shampoo, using a decent wash mitt. I love this lambswool one, 7 which cost £10, but I’ve also had good success with microfibre mitts with little dangly fingers, available from Tesco for about £3. Start on the roof and work your way down, using plenty of water and suds to loosen and release the remaining dirt easily. Don’t forget to open the doors and do the sills and the bottom of the door skins – attention to detail makes a big difference. Then once again jet wash the car from top to bottom.
Now that the body is nice and clean, we want a finish that will last and make future cleaning a lot easier.
With the bodywork still damp, I apply Pro-kleen Troll’s Breath fallout and alloy wheel cleaner, 8 which costs £25.95 on Amazon for five litres including delivery. Simply stick it into a spray bottle (£1 from B&M) and go right over the top and sides of the car, finishing with the alloy wheels. This is one of the new bleedstyle cleaners and it won’t be long before you see the red bleeding off, especially on
the wheels. 9 Just make sure it doesn’t dry off on the bodywork.
Once again, I power-wash the car from top to bottom. Once the alloys start to dry you’ll see they are still dirty, but don’t worry, just use the power washer to get off as much dirt as you can. To get into hard-to-reach areas, I use Woolies 10 (available from ebay at £30 a set), which agitate the dirt rather than scrape it off and won’t scratch the surface.
To dry off the car, I love this Cobra Guzzler microfibre drying towel (£9.35 from www.perfectlycleaned.co.uk)
11 , which gives much better results than a shammy. You just press it onto the bodywork, pull it across and lift it off, leaving the surface dry. It will easily dry a car without being wrung out and is fantastic on windows, too.
Now looking around the bodywork, there are bound to be tar marks over the panels. These can be a pain to remove, but Autosmart Tardis, 12 available on ebay for £7.30 for one litre, gives excellent results. Simply spray it onto a panel, leave it for a few minutes and you’ll see the tar melting off. Wipe with a microfibre cloth and it’s gone. Once again, make sure it doesn’t dry out while in use.
You could finish up by polishing now, but if you’re looking for a silky-smooth feel to the bodywork then you’ll need to use clay. With a clay bar, you can take hours going up and down carefully, covering every panel, until everything is nice and smooth – like touching clean glass. Or else you can get a Farécla G3 clay mitt and you’ll be done in 15-20 minutes. 13
Get a bucket of warm, shampoo-filled water, dunk in your mitt 14 and start on the roof, making straight sweeps with not too much pressure, using plenty of water as you go. You’ll feel the mitt catching on the contaminants on the panels, but after a couple of wipes it’ll feel smooth. 15 Don’t forget to do the window glass and door shuts, as well as the alloy wheels. Finish by giving the car a thorough rinse.
Now for the polish
I don’t dry the car off totally and you can use a small spray bottle to lightly mist water over the panels. You may prefer to use Autoglym, Turtle Wax, Poorboys or some other brand, but I prefer Bilthamber Auto-balm, 16 priced at £7 for 50ml plus an applicator from www.
polishedbliss.co.uk. Use a very small amount on the applicator and cover a panel at a time, just thick enough for you to notice it’s there. I work my way right round the car and do every panel in one go, so by the time I’ve finished, the first panels are ready for buffing down. For this, a good microfibre cloth is ideal, but the ones sold in discount shops aren’t usually worth a toot; it’s better to spend a few quid for a top-quality cloth than a pack of 10 for a fiver.
Another product I love is Fusso Soft99 Coat, which is a bit pricier at £20 for 200g as it is a Japanese import. 16 Once again, I mist over the panels with water, then apply it lightly around the body using the applicator and buff it off with a microfibre cloth. Normally, waxing a car is the most time-consuming and tiring bit, but if you’ve done the prep work effectively then it’s really worth the effort to finish off. Don’t forget the door shuts and alloy wheels, as they’ll be so much easier to clean in the future. What’s more, rain will slide off like magic.
To tidy up any black trim, two miracle products I have found are Pre-wow and Black Wow. 17 Pre-wow removes all white marks from your trim, returning it to its natural state and ready for dressing with Black Wow. A tiny dot of Black Wow on a sponge 18 goes a long way and leaves trim like new again. 19 20 These are US products but they can be ordered through ebay.
To finish off the outside and get your windows gleaming, I have two favourites. Autobrite Crystal Clear, £8 for 500ml from www.autobritedirect.co.uk,
which leaves a great finish inside and out. I like to polish with a microfibre cloth, then finish off with a paper towel. As an additive for the glass, I use Automate Rainguard glass cleaner, 21 500ml for £5 from www.liquidleather.com. It’s a wipe-on, wipe-off product that works in all weather. Even in light rain, it won’t impair your vision and all you need is an intermittent wipe on most occasions. (I’ve used this product and can vouch that it leaves zero water marks on glass –Ed.).
For the final touch, Meguiar’s Endurance 22 gives a natural shine to your tyres and lasts no matter what the weather throws at it. Apply and forget, but don’t forget to turn the wheel a little to reach the section at the bottom. It costs £11.99 for 473ml at Halfords.
After all that, stand back and admire.