Mini to the maximum

Is it just me, or is it weird that the biggest Mini is now almost the same size as the smallest Range Rover? The Countryman is just 7cm shorter and 9cm lower, and park the two side-by-side and they have a very similar physical presence. Alec Issigonis, the Mini’s designer, would be horrified; but let’s face it, who wants to drive an original Mini nowadays? It would be like driving a pedalo among oil tankers.

Like the Evoque, the JCW Countryman also received an update last year, making it not only the biggest but also the most powerful road-going Mini ever. The 2.0-litre twin-turbo engine was upgraded to produce 302bhp and 332lb ft, driving all four wheels through a new eight-speed auto ’box. Well, I say ‘all four wheels’ – in fact, Mini’s system is similar to the T Roc’s 4Motion drivetrain in spirit, in that it’s essentially a frontwheel-drive car until it detects wheel slip, then it diverts torque to the rear. In terms of hardware, it’s the BMW and Mini that are twinned.

Prices for the John Cooper Countryman start at £35,550, but our car is optioned with British Racing Green paint (£595); red stripes (£200); 19-inch wheels (£700); a navigation pack (£1300); plus other bits and pieces that bring it up to T-Roc R levels, at £39,525.

What to say of the Countryman’s exterior design? You get the sense that the styling team was tortured into giving it a familiar Mini face, with that blunt nose and upright windscreen. Next to the Evoque and T-Roc, it looks like a pug.

That upright stance continues inside, where you find a high ceiling, supportive but very upright seats and a vertical wall of dash smothered in circles. Like the exterior, I feel the circle thing is a little try-hard – ‘It’s a Mini, so we must have a giant circular binnacle in the middle of the dashboard!’ This ‘Mini Theme Park’ design approach creates some jarring details, like when you need to fit a rectangular sat-nav screen into a circular hole. I find it too much. Some bits are cool, like the toggle-switch starter button; other details less so, including the thin halo around that centre binnacle, that changes colour, blue to red, to reflect the heating system. At times it looks like you’ve got a Wurlitzer jukebox in the middle of the car.

But any accusation that this is now a superficial brand soon falls aside when you get going, because the Mini engineers have done an amazing job of somehow injecting Mini-ness to the way this thing drives. I know, it’s bizarre.

First of all, it’s quick, and like the T-Roc the speed is right there, ready to be exploited as soon as you set off. You have to get used to the slight torque-steer effect of that 332lb ft going through the front axle – a sudden squeeze of the throttle will make the steering momentarily writhe in your hands. Mini claims this Cooper Works Countryman will do 0-62mph in 5.1 seconds, but I’d say it actually feels faster than the T-Roc (4.8sec), rather than a fraction slower. That’s partly down to the noise it makes – a noticeably raspy, rorty growl that’s much more exciting than the T-Roc – but it’s also the way it handles itself in tighter corners. It feels heavier than the T-Roc (it is, by a few kilos) and it also feels very frontwheel-drive, as though the whole focus of the car is about those front wheels. Like a Mini, you might say, despite its bulk, despite its all-wheel drive and despite Issigonis spinning in his grave. That focus on the front axle also gives it a sure-footedness that inspires a lot of confidence; in no time, you find yourself absolutely chucking the Mini into bends.

Like the other cars here, the Mini has different driving modes to choose between, and like the others the modes don’t appear to make a great deal of difference, beyond a bit of throttle mapping. In any setting, the Mini just feels more alive, more game for a laugh than the e”cient T-Roc R.

The Countryman doesn’t demolish corners with a dismissive flick like the Volkswagen – there’s a lot more going on in the Mini, in any given corner. But that involvement – the feeling that you’re really driving it – makes it more fun. And if fun is what we’re looking for, then maybe the Mini should be the winner.

Not yet, because we have one more car to drive. ⊲

The Countryman doesn’t demolish corners like the Volkswagen, but it is more fun

Countryman and Clubman JCW recently upgraded to 302bhp. You feel it

Looks like other Minis inside, but it’s a chunk wider; like the outside