‘Defender or Grenadier? Where are you on this automotive Rumble in the Jungle?’
As I’ve confessed before, I own two classic Land Rovers. Because I’m the kind of person who doesn’t mind not having sat-nav or brakes, I really wanted the new Defender to be tough and uncompromising, a true workhorse for the 21st century. I didn’t want it to be yet another family SUV full of touchscreens and charging sockets, useless if you’re crossing the Darién Gap or taking part in the 1988 Camel Trophy. I wanted coil springs, rigid axles, bare metal floors and a front grille you could use as a BBQ if you fancy some sausages in the Australian Outback.
Anyway, Sir Jim Ratcliffe, the Ineos billionaire, obviously felt the same way, and back in 2017 he announced his ‘Projekt Grenadier’. He promised to build a true Defender replacement: it would be ‘rugged, uncompromising, no frills’ – a car that was ‘absolutely not a jelly-mould Chelsea tractor’, one that would allow you to do all the important stuff, like ‘throw a sheep in the back and hose it out’.
This was music to my ears. He didn’t mention sausages or a power takeoff for farm implements, but at this stage I was totally on the Grenadier side. And this is when it dawned on me: the Defender replacement is like a boxing match, a titanic head-to-head battle for our off-roading soul – and you can’t support both. That’s not allowed. You have to pick a side.
So I was on the Grenadier’s side; that is, until this month. Now, two things have happened and I’ve completely switched camps.
First, Grenadier unveiled its car and (how can I put this politely?) it’s a TOTAL RIP-OFF. I mean, I knew it was going to be ‘inspired by’ the old Defender – boxy shapes and flat glass – but come on! If a Chinese manufacturer launched a car that was styled so close to the Landy – and called it the ‘Shenzhen Field-Strength SuperJoy’ – we would have laughed. I’ve read all the headlines saying things like ‘Grenadier Resembles Land Rover 110’ and I’m thinking, ‘resembles’? That’s not resembling, that’s photocopying.
Still, what do I know? Back in August, a UK court found in Ineos’ favour when Land Rover tried to trademark the old Defender’s design. The government’s Intellectual Property Office found the shape ‘wasn’t distinctive enough’. What was that Ratcliffe said about jelly moulds?
Then I finally got to drive the new Defender. And I love it. Driving it on the road is no big surprise – Land Rover has totally nailed its SUV ride and handling these days (see our Disco Sport long-termer, p128). The Defender engineers deliberately went for what they called an ‘analogue’ feel, giving it a transparent honesty in the way it responds to your inputs. It’s bigger than I thought, with huge head- and legroom.
But what I really like is the extra mile that Land Rover’s gone to, in order to define the new car in its line-up. Like Ratcliffe, I didn’t trust Land Rover not to turn out yet another lifestyle SUV with a token spare wheel on the back; instead, the new Defender is distinctive and it’s tough. The alloy monocoque is based on the Discovery’s, but the so-called D7x body is much stiffer, the stiffest car Land Rover has ever built. There’s a new configurable Terrain Response system that allows you to control the centre and rear differentials, and you can alter the settings for the throttle, gearbox, steering and traction control.
It has amazingly short overhangs for a modern car. Ground clearance is better than the old Defender, as is the wading depth, now increased (submerged?) to 900mm. And all the electrics are waterproofed to IP67 standard, which means you can park it up to the roof in a swamp for half an hour and not damage it.*
Like cooking Outback sausages** on a front grille, I’m not sure many owners will ever find themselves actually parking in a swamp, but that doesn’t matter in this battle. It’s capability that counts, not reality – which means the Grenadier could still deliver a knock-out punch in the next round. For now, I’m behind the Defender. And where are you on this automotive Rumble in the Jungle?
*This flippant statement does not form part of your warranty
** Australians call them ‘snags’