SLAUGH­TER­HOUSE RULEZ (15)

Carmarthen Journal - - Film Reviews -

★★ ★★★

THERE are few tricks and no treats in writer-di­rec­tor Crispian Mills’ painfully out­dated hor­ror com­edy.

Don Wal­lace (Finn Cole) is crest­fallen when his mother Babs

( Jo Hart­ley) se­cures him a last-minute bed at Slaugh­ter­house School, where cadet train­ing and golf are part of the cur­ricu­lum.

“It’s like a very ex­clu­sive hol­i­day camp!” Babs prom­ises, leav­ing her boy in the hands of well-todo room-mate Wil­loughby (Asa But­ter­field).

Don strug­gles to ac­cli­ma­tise un­der the reign of head­mas­ter Mr Chap­man aka The Bat (Michael Sheen), who has forged an un­holy al­liance with firm Ter­rafrack to gen­er­ate funds for “a dry ski slope and the long over­due pre­fect spa”.

Drilling in nearby woods opens a sink­hole, which anti-frack­ing ac­tivist Woody (Nick Frost) pre­dicts is “a por­tal that leads right down to Hell!”

Dis­fig­ured beasts which in­habit a labyrinthine cave net­work be­neath the school emerge from the sink­hole to evis­cer­ate ter­ri­fied pupils and staff in­clud­ing lovesick tu­tor Mered­ith House­man (Si­mon Pegg, pic­tured).

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