Christmas is all about children... and that’s hard to accept now I’m not one
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS
MY great grandad was a miner in County Durham and always worked on Christmas Day.
He also had 11 children, lived in a two bedroomed house and had a ‘bad temper’.
I imagine it’d be a miracle to be good tempered in that situation, but I now question whether he was forced into work, or just thought it was the easy option. Thankfully, they didn’t know any different.
Everyone in the village was the same and they only had a wireless to tell them the weather, news and shipping forecast. Our problem is we’re bombarded with images of the perfect Christmas and there isn’t one.
It’s what works for you and not what multi-millionaire Jamie Oliver thinks you should be doing with your turkey.
This year, we were at my mum and dad’s house with the twins for the first time, and little or no idea how to achieve perfection.
For many years, we’d finely honed the perfect format, starting with a big sack of presents for my brother and I.
Although this crept into disturbing territory when we hit our thirties.
I’ll never forget Victoria’s terrified face as she watched two adult men leaping around in pyjamas, tearing open presents from Santa.
This year, it was all about the twins and I was a proper grown up, despite not getting the Lego Millennium Falcon I’d specifically asked for months ago.
Fortunately, they were on top form, full of smiles, laughter and mumbled words.
There was a brief panic when Thomas choked on a pine needle but luckily that was during our traditional trip to the local pub at 11.30am.
Although even that sacred pilgrimage has come under pressure given the addition of babies.
Apparently, all the men leaving the womenfolk to cook, while they unwind in the local hostelry is an outdated concept.
Anyway, I won’t bore you with an actual description of my Christmas but this is what I learned while trying to balance childcare and selfish fun on the big day.
Firstly, there’s usually a good group of family members, so your best bet is to pretend you’re drunk. Relatives will happily take responsibility to prevent mishaps.
Secondly, ensure there are no batteries in the house. That way, noisy toys will be unable to operate ensuring you can have a nap in the afternoon after that trip to the pub.
Finally, it is actually a far richer rewarding experience to spend Christmas with children but that doesn’t always mean the same thing as relaxing.