ASK THE EXPERT
Q
MY teenage children don’t go back to school till September, and while they’ve reluctantly done some schoolwork at home, they’re mostly just getting up late, playing computer games and drifting. How can I get them to use their time better?
AHANNAH
ABRAHAMS, leading educational and child psychologist on the Zoono Family Panel, says: “Young people of all ages have spent extended time at home recently, often navigating the stress, uncertainty and worry lockdown has brought. It’s therefore OK that they may have slipped out of their normal routine.
“For families with tweens and teens, you may have noticed significant changes in your child’s sleep patterns. While lockdown may have sent them into a tailspin, there’s also a biochemical and hormonal reason for this. Young people’s circadian rhythms go through tremendous transitions during adolescence. Naturally, they’re programmed to wake and sleep later. While this might be frustrating, don’t let it worry you.
“The amount of time in front of a screen talking to friends on social media or playing computer games may also have shot up recently and that’s OK too. Adolescents will often follow the lead of their peers, so it’s important they feel socially connected.
“If you’re still concerned they’re ‘drifting’, talk to them about your expectations of how their daily routine should look. Ensure your child feels listened to during this discussion and negotiation. Ask your teen what they think would be an acceptable routine for them.
“Let them take the lead; try to ask open and reflective questions. Learning will happen in so many ways: For example, are they interested in the economy? Can they track progress in the markets globally? How would they express their experience of lockdown through art, raps or poetry?
“Deciding on a way forward together is a much more positive approach than nagging and is more likely to lead to a solution that suits you and your teenager, framed in a positive way. It’s important to remember they too are in unchartered territory.”