Solid proof we don’t love animals
I WAS wrapping copies of “Gags for the NHS”, the book I wrote with Dilwyn Phillips (profits go to the NHS and Spanish hospitals), to give as Christmas presents, when I heard an interesting item on the news . . .
Nelly the Elephant has finally packed her trunk and said “goodbye” to the circus for the very last time – in Wales anyway.
All together now . . . “Trump! Trump! Trump!
No, I haven’t started swigging the Christmas sherry a little too early!
The Welsh Assembly has officially passed the Wild Animal and Circus (Wales) Act which bans the use of wild animal in circuses that pitch their tents in our country.
This is a victory for the RSPCA and anyone who disapproves of animals being exploited for entertainment. Because, as we all know, the British are supposed to be a nation of animal lovers. But Phil can prove otherwise . . . Just think of the phrases and sayings we regularly use that insult members of the animal kingdom.
Ladies call the lines around their eyes in later life “crow’s feet!”
We call a spy within an organisation a “mole!”
Without thinking, we say . . . “He eats like a pig!” “Those are weasel words!”
“He’s a snake in the grass!” “Are you man or mouse?” How about…
“You don’t fool me! A leopard doesn’t change its spots!” “You’re acting the goat!” “Are you trying to make a monkey out of me?”
“He’s like a head!”
“You’re crying crocodile tears.” We insult ‘man’s best friend’ so often we don’t give it a second thought . . .
“I’m nobody’s poodle!
“If you ask me, you’ve been sold a pup!”
“She treats him like a lap dog!” “Just look at him. All dressed-up like a dog’s dinner!”
This is solid proof we don’t love animals.
We loathe them.
Even fish.
Well “trout pout” and “mullet” are hardly terms of endearment.
Incidentally, I didn’t rabbit on about the NHS joke book to try and badger you into buying one.
Though it is still available in bookshops and online and is more fun than a barrel load of monkeys!
You heard that from the horse’s mouth! bear with a sore