On my mind

SO the festival of Brexmas was extended to allow the negotiators to spend more time in celebration. While the Germans, led by Megan Merkel, wife of Harry Saxe-coburgGotha, were the nice guys it was the French who flexed their mussels. Everyone knows the importance of the ‘level playing field’ for Deschamps’ talented football team and their future success in the postponed Euros.

It also helps to move the goalposts at the last moment to confuse the opposing attackers and ensure a result.

When it comes to access for EU fishermen in UK waters there are no flies on Emmanuel Macron, who is determined not to make a rod for his own back or be knocked off his perch.

He is very aware of the importance of pairing a light crisp Sauvignon Blanc with the delicate flavour of the lobster’s white meat, especially when it is caught just off Bridlington.

Of course, as Stephen Clarke wrote in his iconic book 10 years ago, we have spent ‘1,000 years annoying the French’ ever since the time it was pointed out that William the Conqueror was not French, they didn’t invent their national drink, the guillotine came from Britain and the baguette originated in Austria.

When an early French PM says: “English is just badly pronounced French” and a French writer writes: “English cooking: if it’s cold, it’s soup. If it’s warm, it’s beer”, we can expect a slightly bruised entente cordiale.

But when British writer Douglas Jerrold in the 19th Century stated that: “The best thing I know between France and England is the sea”, he did not anticipate such troubled waters in the 21st Century, but did reflect what is now for almost half the population of the UK an outdated and unfortunate ideology.

■ Follow Graham on Twitter@geetdee