Carmarthen Journal

Hordes of brain-dead zombies dropping litter

- PHILEVANSC­OLUMN Comedian Phil Evans from Ammanford is known as the man who puts the “cwtsh” into comedy You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevansw­ales or visit www.philevans.co.uk

I DON’T do don’t.

But after 14 months of stopstart lockdowns, as soon as we were allowed a little freedom it multiplied beyond belief.

If you watched the TV news or read the papers around the time rules were eased, it seemed that hordes of braindead zombies had been unleashed and headed straight to beaches and beauty spots, parks and playing fields and proceeded to do it on an industrial scale.

I’m talking about dropping litter.

It’s one of my pet peeves, which I make no apology for returning to from time to time.

The people who should apologise but lack the common sense and decency to do so are the thoughtles­s idiots who carelessly discard it.

You’ve seen the pictures of the crowds who swarmed around Roald Dahl Plass in Cardiff Bay, Durdle Door beach in Dorset, and hundreds of parks and beaches all over the UK.

The appalling piles of detritus left strewn everywhere were disgusting.

And I say that as someone who never before felt the need to use the word detritus.

‘Litter’ is far too polite a word for what some of these people leave behind.

We’re talking burger cartons, plastic bags, plastic bottles, wine bottles, beer bottles, beer cans, soft drink cans and . . . used nappies!

It’s ironic that people who swig cans of caffeine-packed energy drinks find it far too much of an effort to take their empties over to a bin.

The poor, exhausted dears leave them where they’ve been sitting for someone else to clean up.

We’ve seen enough documentar­ies warning us that the world’s marine life is endangered by discarded plastic. it. And

I bet you

So, if I hear someone else on TV say “People need educating about litter!”, I shall throw a can of Scarlet Cow at the screen – and it may not be an empty one.

Because if people don’t instinctiv­ely know it’s just plain wrong to leave beer cans and nappies on a beach, no amount of education will persuade them not to do it again.

But the threat of life imprisonme­nt in solitary confinemen­t might.

It’s an idea . . .

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 ?? Picture: Mark Lewis ?? Some of the litter left behind after a recent gathering on Swansea Beach.
Picture: Mark Lewis Some of the litter left behind after a recent gathering on Swansea Beach.

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