There’s no icing on this cake!
COMING up with original ideas, churning them around in my head and then sitting down to write what I hope are interesting articles, is always a joy for me. I appreciate positive reactions from readers and take it on the chin whenever something I’ve written occasionally ruffles someone’s feathers and prompts them to respond in a nottoo-friendly manner.
I never deliberately set out to offend my readers and, when I do my stand-up, I don’t set out to offend my audience.
But when your job involves regularly sticking your head above the parapet, you must expect the odd critical tomato thrown at you.
My philosophy, which I’ll admit to stealing from the currently popular expression… “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” is this…
“When a tomato’s thrown at you, head it into the salad bowl, add some lettuce and cucumber and have it for your tea with a pastie!”
Okay, I admit it’s not as pithy as the lemons expression, but then lemons are full of pith.
If you’re making up your own jokes, I’ll be very disappointed in you.
Talking of disappointment, did you see that newspaper article about a mother from Sussex who kicked up a fuss with Marks & Spencer when they refused to ice a particular message on top of the cake she ordered for her daughter’s 18th birthday?
The message was, “I’m glad you were the strongest sperm”. Yes. Really. The mother said: “I know it was a bit cheeky, but my daughter and I have a great relationship”.
After posing together for photographs that accompanied the story, I wonder if they still do. Girls of 18 embarrass easily.
My take on this is, if you must send a tacky birthday message to your daughter, write it in her card.
Don’t involve Marks & Spencer employees who would have had to pass the message from department to department for a decision.
My take on this is, if you must send a tacky birthday message to your daughter, write it in her card
Phil Evans
And don’t complain to the ’papers when M&S refuse to ice the message.
Otherwise, in years to come, you’ll have given your daughter the completely wrong reason to remember her 18th birthday.
Oi! Who threw that tomato?