Loony-versity challenged
IT’S my duty to warn readers of a nervous disposition that this article contains details of a story that might send them into a state of shock. If you feel unable to read on, please turn the page now. Still here? Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
A young boy and girl, unaccompanied by responsible adults, are sent on a pointless, potentially dangerous mission that involves climbing a steep incline.
Unfortunately, the boy suffers a nasty head injury and hurtles down the incline.
Then, without explanation, the girl follows him in exactly the same manner.
Miraculously, despite his head trauma, the boy runs home, where his injuries are treated by a bizarre method that would raise the eyebrows of any medical professional.
Why, I hear you ask, would the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill need what is today referred to as a ‘trigger warning’? Well, just analyse the contents.
They go up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
That makes no sense, as a well should be dug out on flat ground, not at the top of a hill.
Jack breaks his ‘crown’ and both he and Jill tumble down the hill, no doubt sustaining additional injuries on the way.
Interestingly, no mention is made of whether Jill survives the fall, which I’ve always thought was insensitive and also a little sexist.
Jack ‘trots’ home, where his medically-ignorant parents slap some brown paper soaked with vinegar on his bonce.
I’ve given you this example of a ridiculous ‘trigger warning’ after learning that Chester University issued one to first-year students about the book Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone, which is part of their literature module.
The university said: “The warning encourages students to talk to tutors if anything is particularly difficult because of its personal relevance.”
Unless you’ve been stranded on a desert island for the last 20 years (and if you have, welcome back) you’ll know the book is about a boy wizard who competes in games, while flying a broomstick, and encounters supernatural creatures.
It’s reasonable to ask, with so many great works of literature available, why are they studying it?
What’s next on their study list? The Tiger Who Came To Tea . accompanied by a ‘tiger warning’?