What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer!
WHETHER it’s Frank Sinatra’s version of Without a Song the Day Would Never End or the Beach Boys’ Add Some Music To Your Day, the message is clear.
Music is good for the soul.
And for comedy, too. Because without music there’d be no musician jokes, like these…
What’s the definition of perfect pitch? Throwing an accordion into a skip without touching the sides!
An intrepid explorer searches for a mythical lost temple through thick jungle foliage, accompanied by his archaeologist friend and the ominous sound of distant drums.
Pausing to mop his brow, the explorer says to his friend, “Will those damn drums never stop?” To which his friend replies, “While we can hear them, we’re safe. It’s what happens after they stop, we have to worry about!”
When the explorer asks “What does happen after the drums stop?” his friend replies, solemnly … “A long bass solo!”
My favourite musician joke concerns a guitar vocalist named Terry who hasn’t gigged for months and is in dire financial trouble. Out of the blue, he’s offered a gig at a Cardiff hotel for £200, which he jumps at even though it won’t make a big dent in his debts. After he finishes his act, a middle-aged American gent walks up to him, shakes his hand and says “That was just wonderful buddy.
“My names Hiram T Turpentine, I’m bringing my family over to spend New Year at the London Dorchester and I’d like to book you as the cabaret.
“I’ll arrange a room for you and your wife, pay your travel expenses and give you £10,000 in cash.”
Terry is delighted and turns up at the Dorchester on December 31 with his guitar, amp and microphone stand.
“He performs brilliantly for Hiram and his entire family, singing songs old and new.
Afterwards Hiram says “Wow! Your version of Yesterday brought me and the missus to tears. You were so great I’m gonna give you another thousand pounds bonus and I wanna book you right now for next New Year for £20,000! Will ya do it?”
Terry says “Yes. On one condition” and when Hiram says, “Name it!” Terry replies, “Can I leave my gear here?”