Watching the detectives can be murder...
MOST evenings when I thumb through the TV schedules to see what viewing “delights” are on offer, I do realise there are “prestige” shows that prove the exception to the rule. Most programmes appear to be aimed at people happy to slump in front of the telly after a hard day’s work and want to watch anything remotely interesting.
While I like the occasional crime drama/whodunit, some of the newer creations are built around detectives who are “troubled” by a tragic incident in their past or have a “quirk” which is supposed to make them interesting but actually makes them irritating.
Brenda Blethyn’s Vera solves crimes by staring at suspects with a quizzical expression, while sporting a battered old hat that appears to be welded to her head.
At the end of each episode of Ridley, Adrian Dunbar’s ex-copper sits down at the piano (in the jazz club he partowns!) and commits crimes against music by singing.
John Simm’s Brighton-based copper Grace consults a medium each week to contact his deceased wife. Big question here: Is she really dead?
And I haven’t mentioned Tom Burke’s Strike, the one-legged private eye based in a top-floor office that lacks a lift.
But! When I remembered nostalgically how “normal” the tough crimefighters were in the TV shows I grew up watching, I realised they were even “quirkier” than today’s lot.
William Conrad’s overweight Frank Cannon brought criminals to justice by sitting on them until they passed out.
Longstreet, played by James Franciscus, was a private eye unhampered by his blindness. Raymond Burr played a wheelchair-bound detective conveniently called Ironside.
Simon Maccorkindale’s Manimal solved crimes by turning into various members of the animal kingdom.
Jim Rockford couldn’t run because of a gammy leg, which I assume actor James Garner injured when jumping out of that moving train with Donald Pleasence in The Great Escape.
Peter Falk’s Columbo solved crimes by staring at suspects with a quizzical expression, while sporting a battered old raincoat that appeared to be welded to his body.
As for good old Dixon Of Dock Green, Jack Warner was still playing the cockney copper at 80 and suffering so badly from arthritis in his legs he used beesting treatment to relieve the pain.
Mind how you go!