MESSENGERS from spirit
Ravens helped me heal
As a child, watching Dad feed his birds was a comforting ritual for me. He kept budgies and canaries in a large aviary in the garden. He loved them, would talk to them like they were old friends.
‘Some people say birds are the souls of people who’ve passed, Jeane,’ he told me one day. ‘Is that true, Dad?’ I asked. ‘I don’t know,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘But birds are strange and magical creatures, that’s for sure.’
Sadly, Dad died when I was just 14 – but for months afterwards, I saw blackbirds everywhere. I knew it was Dad keeping an eye on me from Heaven, and I felt hugely comforted.
I grew up, became an actress, got married. Living with my husband in Essex, one day I found an injured blackbird on the road. I took it home and nursed it until it was VWURQJ HQRXJK WR À\ DJDLQ ZKHQ , released it in the garden.
Birdrescue
After that, I regularly rescued injured birds. I had a big garden and a conservatory, so I had plenty of room for my cages and aviaries. I was happy and thought life would continue like this forever – but DERXW ¿YH \HDUV DJR everything changed. I’d noticed for a while that I had stomach ache, but as time went by, it grew worse and worse. Soon, I wasn’t able to keep any food down, was passing blood on the toilet. My weight plummeted to ¿YH VWRQH , ZDV LQ FRQVWDQW pain, in and out of hospital. After a lot of tests, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a long-term condition where the bowel becomes LQÀDPHG 6PDOO ulcers develop on the colon lining and can bleed and produce pus. It’s an auto-immune condition, and some people have very mild symptoms.
For others, like me, it can be devastating and life-changing.
Terriblepain
I was in agony, taking 23 tablets a day. I couldn’t walk, had to get around in a wheelchair. The strain of looking after me proved to be too much for my husband, and my marriage broke up.
I was at rock bottom. There were days when I felt like I just couldn’t carry on anymore.
But my friends rallied round me, and with their help, I managed to get back on my feet – literally. They supported me physically and emotionally until I didn’t need to use the wheelchair any more, and helped me move on from my PDUULDJH DQG ¿QG D ÀDW RI P\ RZQ in London.
I was pleased to have regained some strength, to be independent once more – although I missed my garden in Essex and my birds.
‘I’m going to get some tattoos,’ I told my friend Anne.* ‘Something to symbolise a new beginning.’
‘Good idea,’ she said enthusiastically. ‘Any idea what tattoo you might get?’
I’d given the matter a lot of thought already.
‘I want a raven tattoo,’ I said decisively. I’d always admired ravens for their strength, their intelligence. And, of course, I’d always felt a strong connection with black birds. It was the perfect symbol for my new life.
I went to the Tower of London, which is famous for its ravens. Legend states that the Kingdom of England will fall if the ravens of the
I was in agony, taking 23 pills a day
Ravens are associated with the god Apollo
Tower of London are removed, and there are always at least six of the birds in residence there. I watched the Tower’s ravens, then sketched the designs for the tattoos myself.
Specialtattoo
With the help of an amazing tattoo artist, it all came together. I was delighted with the results – and I was regularly stopped by people in the street, in the supermarket, admiring my tattoos or even wanting to take a photograph.
By now, I was completely fascinated by ravens. My trips to the Tower of London became a two-weekly occurrence. I began photographing the birds, documenting their behaviour, and got to know the Ravenmaster, who’s in charge of the birds. Gradually, I got to know the birds themselves. I seemed to have a particularly strong bond with a female named Merlina. One day, while I was YLVLWLQJ D ¿OP FUHZ ZDV setting up in the Tower of London. This scared Merlina, and she came running towards me. ‘It’s OK, girl,’ I said softly, bending down to comfort her. In response, Merlina picked up a nearby feather and dropped it at my feet. I felt my heart swell with joy. This was a true honour – it’s called ‘gifting,’ and it meant she trusted me. I also developed a close attachment with Munin, who at 23 years old was one of the oldest ravens in the Tower. She, too, honoured me with the gift of a feather. She always seemed to know when I was ill, would come up to me, beak to nose, as I crouched down to greet her, and look deep into my eyes. I could see the empathy in her own bright eyes. But the last time I saw her, in March 2018, looked into those eyes, I could see she was ill too. ‘You’re not well, are you Munin?’ I said. I suspected I wouldn’t see her again – and I was right. A couple of days later, I heard the deeply sad news that she’d passed away.
Uniqueconnection
It’s true to say that my special connection with ravens has turned my life around. They are truly awe-inspiring and magical creatures.
In ancient times, our ancestors associated ravens with the gods, recognising their wisdom and special ability to communicate with humans.
In Celtic mythology, ravens are associated with the goddess Morrigan, a talented prophetess. Ravens were thought to be her messengers between the land of the living and the spirit world.
Similarly, in Greek mythology, ravens are associated with the gift of prophecy. They were the special messengers of the god Apollo, conveying his messages to mortals on Earth.
The Norse god Odin was known as the Raven God, and was accompanied everywhere by his two ravens, symbolising strength and wisdom.
Ravens mean so much to me. With their help, I’ve gone from strength to strength. Last year, I was made an ambassador for a Crohn’s and colitis network, which was a great honour. I answer questions and help to bring about a better understanding of the disorders. It feels great to be able to give something back.
I want people living with chronic conditions to know that, if I can get through this, anyone can. If you waited to feel well enough before getting on with your life, you’d be waiting forever. I’ve done it, with the help of the ravens, and you can too!