Music to my ears:
Dead friend came back in a dream
Gavin Whyte, 35, from Huddersfield, West Yorkshire
Picking up my guitar, I blasted out a few chords. ‘This is the latest song I’ve written, what do you think?’ I asked my mate Dan.
Dan and I had been buddies since I was
11 and he was eight.
We lived on a street in +XGGHUV¿HOG FDOOHG 0RXQW¿HOG $YHQXH and hung round in a group of lads – some of whom are still my closest friends.
I was one of the oldest boys. One of the youngest, and probably the most shy, was the kid with the huge glasses called Daniel - or Dan.
We bonded over our shared love
of music. We both dreamed about being music producers and used to pat each other on the back with every little success.
Like he did now. ‘It’s great, Gavin,’ he said encouragingly.
‘Thanks, mate,’ I said, proudly beaming at him.
Bad news
When you’re young, you think you’re immortal, that your friends will always be there - but when Dan was 21 years old, his left eye started to twitch uncontrollably. Nobody thought anything of it but then his left side also began to feel numb - something wasn’t right.
$IWHU VHYHUDO WHVWV Dan broke the news in a text message. In typical Dan fashion it read: ‘Got a tumour. Don’t stress, though.’
It was a just a week before Christmas in 2007. I was absolutely devastated.
Over the coming months, even though it was upsetting to see his health deteriorate, I visited Dan at home often. We didn’t talk about death, we were lads in our 20s, but I did believe in the afterlife.
Draining treatment
$V D FKLOG P\ QDQ KDG WROG PH weird and wonderful stories about how she visited mediums during the Second World War. I read about DQJHOV WRR LQFOXGLQJ WKH $QJHOV RI Mons. These were the angels that were said to have intervened on the side of the British during the Battle of Mons in the First World War. Survivors from this battle claimed WR KDYH VHHQ WKH VN\ ¿OOHG ZLWK angels, led by an archangel on a white horse brandishing a
ÀDPLQJ sword. It was seen as divine intervention, that God was on the side of the
DOOLHV $V D youngster, this legend had fascinated me.
Of course, prior to Dan’s illness we never talked about angels - why would we? It would have seemed silly and morbid.
But I started to think about it a lot more now Dan’s health was deteriorating.
'DQ ZDV WROG IURP WKH R VHW WKDW treatment would only shrink the
I was fascinated by the Angels of Mons
EUDLQ WXPRXU QRW JHW rid of it.
But in this situation, not many people turn their back on treatment and Dan had both chemo and radiotherapy.
As it always does, the treatments took their toll, turned Dan into a shadow of his former self. He spent most of his time in bed.
I visited to keep him company – and on one of these visits, he said VRPHWKLQJ DEVROXWHO\ UHPDUNDEOH VRPHWKLQJ
WKDW ZRXOG JLYH KLV family an incredible amount of hope.
Angelic visit
I was in his room with his mum ang GDG DQG ZH ZHUH FKDWWLQJ DERXW QRUPDO VWX , FDQ¶W remember what.
Suddenly, Dan said, ‘I woke up WKLV PRUQLQJ DQG WKHUH ZHUH DQJHOV at the side of my bed.’
He beamed at me as he told me WKLV +H ZDV ODXJKLQJ ZLWK MR\
To say we were all moved was an understatement.
1RW ORQJ DIWHU WKLV 'DQ GLHG peacefully, surrounded by his friends and family.
It was 21st July 2008.
, YLVLWHG 'DQ¶V SDUHQWV QRW ORQJ DIWHU KLV SDVVLQJ
Μ Veronica explained that Dan had ZRNHQ KHU XS E\ VKRXWLQJ KHU name. He’d sounded as if he was in WKH URRP ZLWK KHU ULJKW WKHUH QH[W to the bed. ‘He yelled “Mum, the best is yet to come!”’ she told me, overwhelmed with joy to have been visited by her son. I was so happy for her. And then he visited me too! Lucid dream I purposely say visit because when you’re visited by a deceased friend or loved one, you know that LW¶V GL HUHQW IURP D UHJXODU dream. You know it’s not just your LPDJLQDWLRQ WKDW LW¶V PXFK PXFK more than that. ,Q P\ YLVLW 'DQ ZDV VWDQGLQJ RQ WRS RI D ODUJH WRZHU KLJK XS LQ WKH VN\ ‘Are you OK?’ I asked Dan. He nodded. ‘Yes.’ I asked him if he would have done DQ\WKLQJ GL HUHQWO\ ‘I would have included more humour in my music,’ he said. 'DQ WKHQ VWRRG DW WKH HGJH RI WKH WRZHU DV LI KH ZDV JRLQJ WR MXPS He looked at me, smiled and lifted up his arms. , UDQ RYHU WR WKH HGJH DQG ORRNHG down. There were thousands of SHRSOH FKHHULQJ ZLOGO\ ZDYLQJ their arms at Dan. ‘They’re all for me,’ he told me happily. , ZRNH XS ZLWK D ELJ VPLOH RQ my face. My friend Dan was OK. )ROORZLQJ P\ H[SHULHQFH with Dan, I believe that in order for us to live fully, we have to ORRN DW GHDWK GL HUHQWO\ The common view is that death is to be feared. But what if ZH¶YH JRW WKDW DOO ZURQJ ± ZKDW LI GHDWK LV JUHDW" What if death is beautiful? Thanks to Daniel, now I don’t see death as an end but as DQRWKHU EHJLQQLQJ Waiting for Wings: A Story of Hope by Gavin Whyte is available from Amazon in paperback and ebook. Check out his website at https:// gavinwhyte.org Dan was standing on a tall tower up in the sky