A voice made me leave my hubby so I could be a star
A voice urged me to leave the husband I loved
D ancing around the fire, I whispered my heartfelt plea to the god of the flames.
‘Please, give me my own magic show. Show me how,’ I begged, over and over again.
I was at a music and performing arts festival called Firedance in California, USA. I’d travelled alone to California, leaving my husband Martin at home in the UK. An artist and performer, my real dream was to be a professional magician with my own show – but somehow, it always seemed just beyond my grasp. It was almost as if I was being blocked.
After a night of wild revelry and dancing, next day, I decided to go for a hike in the forest to clear my head. I put my trainers on and marched briskly down the leafy trail. As the sun began to set, I enjoyed a moment of complete solitude. I was miles away from the nearest human being. The only sound was the cracking of twigs under my feet.
Then, out of nowhere, I heard a voice speak.
‘Leave Martin,’ the voice ordered me. ‘Sell your house. Go to Las Vegas.’
Psychic all my life, I realised at once that the ‘voice’ wasn’t from someone who was physically present, there with me in the forest.
The voice was from spirit. But why was it telling me to leave Martin, my husband of five years? I loved him dearly. I didn’t want to leave him.
I turned around and walked back to the festival campsite, deep in thought.
This voice, without sound but absolutely clear, had actually spoken to me twice before - in a loo in Portugal and again in my flat in Shepherd’s Bush. Both times it had told me to leave Martin, but I’d ignored it. I couldn’t bear to think how much Martin and I would both suffer if we parted.
This time, though, I knew it was answering my prayer from last night. If I wanted to be a successful magician, I had to give up my marriage. The message from spirit was crystal clear. What was I going to do….? Martin and I had married in Linz,
The voice told me to move to Las Vegas
Austria at the street festival where we met as fellow performers. I was 27 at the time. He was a juggler and walked up to me with a flower. He was a gorgeous, tall German and on our first date, he turned to me in the moonlight and said, ‘I think I love you.’
We hadn’t wasted any time, decided to
get married right there and then. Ours was a huge wedding, celebrated by everyone present at the festival. A pagan priestess bound our wrists together with silk and we jumped over a broom made of birch to mark the start of our lives together. We were happy. We set up home in Brighton, performed together with a juggling and knife-throwing act, and planned to start a family one day. There was a terrible time when I thought I was going to lose Martin as he developed a tumour the size of a grapefruit between his heart, lungs and spine, but he had it successfully removed. I felt enormously lucky to still have him. Now, having been through so much together, spirit was telling me to leave him. I knew that, having asked me three times, the voice wouldn’t ask me again. This was my last chance. It was as if the Universe was saying to me ‘You can have this, but you’ve got to show faith.’
If I stayed with Martin, I knew I wouldn’t go down the path that would lead to my dream of having a successful magic show.
By the time I got back to my tent, I’d made up my mind. I sat on the floor and wept for my lost marriage, for the pain and confusion I’d cause when I broke all my promises to Martin. I wept for the fun we’d miss, the children we’d never have, and for our growing old together.
I wrote Martin a letter telling him I was leaving and didn’t hand it to him until we were back home in Brighton. His face crumpled when he read it, breaking my heart. ‘But we’re going to be together forever,’ he said, bursting into tears. ‘I heard a voice,’ I began – but stopped, realising it didn’t make sense. I wanted to comfort him, to put my arms around him and say it was all a stupid mistake and of course I wasn’t leaving – but I couldn’t. I’d made my decision and my path was set. Come what may, I’d be leaving the UK for Las Vegas in four months’ time. It was the hardest four months of my life. I loved Martin, and the longer I was at home, the more I felt that I couldn’t give a damn about any voice - but it was too late. Martin moved on, and started a new relationship with someone else, and having made the decision to separate, I had no choice but to accept it.
But I knew it was meant to be. The deal was struck, the price agreed – and the magic set in motion.
So there I was, in my 30s without children, a partner, a home or any debts. All I wanted was that sure-fire act - and I didn’t care how long it took or what it cost.
Sitting on the plane to Vegas, leaving England behind me, I had the sense that I was changing my life forever.
Once I got to Vegas, I planned to study with Jeff Mcbride, an acquaintance of mine and a megastar in the world of magic. I hadn’t actually organised anything beforehand, so I went to see him as soon as I arrived in Las Vegas.
‘I’m sorry, Romany, but I’m about to leave for a tour of Japan,’ he told me.
My heart sank. Oh my God! I’d left Martin and now my dream was collapsing already. Had I just made the worst mistake of my life…?
The price was paid and the magic began
But Jeff had another question for me. ‘Romany, do you ou want to put on your own show for one night in my theatre when I get back?’ he asked. ‘Yes!’ I blurted excitedly. ‘What have I done?’ I moaned to my pale face in the mirror when I got back to my hotel room. You see – I didn’t actually have an act! I’d performed a few bits and pieces in front of friends, and that was it.
Yet I’d just agreed to put on a professional magic show in front of a demanding Vegas audience in just a few short weeks!
I spent every waking moment until Jeff got back in my hotel room, practicing magic tricks in front of the mirror.
Jeff was a huge Las Vegas star. I was shaking as he introduced me to the audience.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, I give you….romany Romany!’
And I was up! I did my best, but I was way beyond my comfort zone. I forgot an entire 10-minute chunk of the middle of my act and a confetti explosion failed to go off.
Afterwards, Jeff bounded backstage. I braced myself for a ticking-off – but he was beaming.
‘Wow! That was great! Did you hear them all laughing?’ he said excitedly. ‘You’re a hit, Romany!’
I could hardly believe what he was saying – but as I walked into the foyer, I was met by a crowd of happy, beaming faces. ‘They’re smiling, they’re content, that’s all I need to do,’ I realised. I decided then and there to apply for a visa, so I could stay in Vegas. It was the start of something, well, magical. I became the only woman to win The Magic Circle Magician of the Year and the Las Vegas Golden Lion award. I’ve performed all over the world and have even entertained His Highness Prince Charles! That’s how magic works, you see. You set your intention, you let it go, and then the infinite wisdom of the Universe sets the cogs in motion. The Universe had granted my request for a successful act. But now I had another ask. I wanted a life partner.
Making it happen
Once again, I set my intention. I cleared out half my wardrobe, slept only on one side of the bed and bought a large teddy bear into whose fluffy ear I whispered, ‘I love you,’ each night.
It took a whole year before my now-husband Johnny showed up. He was a Buddhist and a former monk.
He liked me, but had no idea he was in it for the long haul. I gave him time. As I rode my bike, I whispered to the wind, ‘he loves me,’ manufacturing the feeling that he did. After a year, he moved in and was surprised to find so much room in my wardrobe for his clothes!
I have no regrets whatsoever about leaving Martin. It freed him to live his life. He now has three children and seems very happy. We’re still friends and although he lives in Germany, he occasionally comes to stay. The voice that told me to leave Martin still speaks to me. Not often, but when it does, I listen. I always trust what it says and take the leap it requires. Magic has its own timing, its own quirky way of things working out in perfect time and space. Find your joy, pay close attention to the cosmic signs and remember, be careful what you tell the angels, because I swear they’re always listening!
I asked the Universe for a life partner
Magician: Life’s ambition
Juggler: My man
Street festival: Love match
Performers: Martin and me
My magical life!
Johnny: Happy together
Royal audience: Prince Charles
Spun Into Gold – A Story Of Showbiz Dreams, Addiction & Finding Real Magic by Romany Romany is available at Amazon.co.uk, priced £9.99