Listen up!

The X Factor helped me find my voice…

Shutting myself in my room, I wanted to scream, shout… say anything.

Only, whenever I tried, no sound came.

Opening my mouth to speak, I’d stumble.

Couldn’t even answer my own name during the register.

On buses, I couldn’t tell drivers my destination.

Stammering constantly, I felt so foolish.

Embarrassed, ultimately, I avoided speaking.

My mum Zel, 48, a teacher, soon noticed something was wrong and, at 8, I’d seen a speech therapist.

One-on-one, it helped temporarily, but when faced with a group, I froze.

I found solace playing the piano, which my grandad, George Bleasby, now 95, taught me to play as a girl.

I discovered that, when I sang, my stammer disappeared.

‘Just like Gareth Gates,’ Mum marvelled.

I’d watched Gareth on the ITV hit show Pop Idol when I was 6. He fascinated me, as I’d never seen anyone else with a stammer. There he was, living my dream…

Becoming a pop star!

Shy, though, I stuck to my bedroom, writing songs based on my life. Mum would often come to my room and listen. Sometimes, when I couldn’t tell her about my day, I’d sing about it instead. I’d found a way to express myself, but life remained frustrating.

I’ll always be different,

I thought sadly.

Joining secondary school, things got worse.

Bullies targeted me, and former friends shunned me.

Miserable, I started feigning illness to avoid school, even contemplated suicide.

Things came to a head when, one day, a group of 20 pupils surrounded me, sneering.

Scared, alone, I desperately tried shouting ‘Help!’ Hard as I tried, I couldn’t. Their cruel cackling still ringing in my ears, I managed to escape, tears streaming. ‘You’re moving schools,’ Mum insisted. Thankfully, starting afresh six weeks on, I made some new friends. Kinder, they’d answer for me during class. Then the awkward age of 13, I didn’t want to face my stammer. I abandoned speech therapy, but kept singing in my spare time. Three years on, in September 2012, I started studying hairdressing at Hull College. There, I met Adam Kerr, then 17, who asked me out. I was flattered, but anxious. I tried hiding my stammer by texting him, but managed to fool no-one. Officially getting together, I revealed I’d a stammer. But Adam was so patient and supportive. And, a few months into our relationship… ‘Has Jessie sung for you yet?’ a pal grinned. Adam shook his

When I couldn’t talk about my day, I’d sing instead

head, then urged me to sing.

Nervous, I refused, but, days on, together in my room, I plucked up courage and sang a song I’d written for him.

‘You’re amazing!’ he beamed afterwards.

My heart just soared.

Once I was 16, I was old enough to enrol on a five-day speech therapy course, The Mcguire Programme, in Cardiff.

There, I was thrilled to meet around 80 other people with a stammer.

Among them, I felt normal.

Developing breathing techniques, practising public speaking and looking at psychological factors helped.

It was intense, but made a huge difference.

‘I’m taking control,’ I declared after. ‘Fantastic!’ Adam encouraged. Now, I attend refresher courses every four months and, last year, I qualified as a trainer to help others.

Working as a hairdresser, I’m now able to discuss styles with my clients.

Nothing’s holding me back... And as for my big dream? I’m working on it! In May last year, I bit the bullet and auditioned for The

X Factor.

My friend Callum came along to cheer me on. I was determined not to tell producers about my stammer, and no-one noticed. Head high, I calmly walked into the audition room.

Breathing deep, I managed to confirm my name, then belted out the song All Star by Smash Mouth.

Sadly, I didn’t get further than a second audition.

Determined, though, I’ve applied again this year. But why wait for fame? On 26 May, I’m releasing my song on itunes and Spotify called Control.

The lyrics sum up my experience: You don’t know what it feels like, to have a voice that you can’t use.

At this year’s X Factor audition, I’ll perform it for the judges.

I’ve found my voice and I’ll share it with the world.

I was thrilled to meet other people with a stammer