Had a baby & lost feet
Creating a new life ended mine as I knew it
Amum-of-three, I wasn’t usually one to complain, but since having my son Hakim eight weeks earlier, I’d never felt so poorly. My whole body ached, I was vomiting, had diarrhoea. Following my third Caesarean, I was so weak, I could barely make it upstairs. Doctors said it was just a virus. But now it was 25 January 2010, and I kept blacking out. ‘I’m calling an ambulance,’ my husband Usman, then 31, fretted. As I was raced to Huddersfield and Calderdale Hospital, Usman left the children with a neighbour and met me there.
I was hooked up to a fluid drip, and was waiting for tests when, about five hours later, I collapsed. Taken to Resus, everything went black…
Unbeknown to me, I had severe sepsis.
While in a coma fighting for my life, I was given blood transfusions. Meanwhile, Usman and my sister Tani, 27, were told to expect the worst.
But, 16 days later, my eyes flickered open. Everything was blurry as I drifted in and out of consciousness. I was in Intensive Care, covered in wires and tubes, and there were bandages all over my feet.
I couldn’t talk or move my left side. Eventually, I managed to use my right hand to write a message to Usman. Where’s the baby? I asked. ‘Hakim’s safe at home,’ he reassured me. Of course, I missed the children like mad, but I tried to focus on my physio so I’d be home soon. Gradually, I could move my hands and talk in a whisper. Then I started to feel the rest of my body. But… ‘Why can’t I feel my feet?’ I asked Usman. ‘They’ve been badly damaged by the sepsis,’ he explained. ‘Just concentrate on getting better.’ He brought our other kids Kasim, 10, and Imaan, 4, to see me. Poor Kasim broke down in tears. Usman gave up his job as a taxi driver to look after them. Days on, when nurses changed the bandages, I was left horrified. ‘My toes are black!’ I gasped. The front of my left foot was
black and hard, too.
‘It’s gangrene,’ they explained. ‘But try not to worry.’
After six weeks, I was moved to a rehab ward. There, a surgeon came to speak to me.
‘I don’t know if we’ll be able to save your toes,’ he said gravely.
Still young, with three children to look after, I was devastated. But, at the same time, my feet were agony.
Finally, on 10 March, I went home in a wheelchair.
The council moved us to a new home with a stairlift, and I relied on Usman and my family to help me wash, dress, do everything.
Nurses visited regularly to change my dressings and help save my feet, but my two little toes fell off.
On 21 June, I’d a six-hour operation to amputate the toes on my right foot and the metatarsals on the left – which meant more or less all of it. The pain was unbearable, and my feet were swathed in bandages.
Three days on, I finally saw what was left of them.
‘They’re like pieces of
meat,’ I sobbed. ‘They’ll get better,’ the nurse said, trying to reassure me.
I was on strong painkillers and antidepressants, but was determined to get home to the children.
A week later, I took a few agonising steps with support. Three weeks on, I was home.
By 2011, I could walk with crutches, and, the next year, I got some NHS prosthetic feet. They were uncomfortable and hard to walk in. But, the following year, I’d something else to focus on when I fell pregnant again.
On antibiotics to avoid another infection, I was monitored closely. And, as the baby got heavier, it was harder to balance.
I developed pre-eclampsia, too, and our son Musa was born six weeks early on 5 June 2014, weighing 4lb 5oz.
He was taken to the Special Care Baby Unit, but allowed home after 10 days.
That same year, the NHS admitted negligence. If I’d been treated earlier, rather than left for hours on a fluid drip, my feet could’ve been saved. So, last year, I received a payout.
I’ve used some of the money to pay for specially made feet. More comfortable than the NHS ones, they allow me to walk better. I can even wear sandals with them. The money will make our lives better, but nothing can make up for the months I spent away from my children or the fact I no longer have my own feet. Having Hakim created a new life, but also ended mine as I knew it.
I was still young, with three children to look after...
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