Mum for seven weeks
I’ll make sure that little Lillie knows her mummy loved her
My phone started to buzz. It was a text from my daughter Claire, 18. You’re going to be a grandma!
Leaping from my seat, I squealed with excitement.
My bubbly, beautiful girl had always loved children, and when she met boyfriend Robert, 24, in May 2015, she was always cooing over babies. ‘I want one!’ she’d joke. I knew it was only a matter of time.
‘You’re not annoyed because I’m only 18, are you?’ she asked me one night.
I told her I was over the moon and would support her no matter what.
It was March last year and we were soon picking out buggies and sleepsuits.
Claire was so excited as her bump grew. She was glowing.
Despite knowing she’d have to grow up fast, Claire was still your average teenager.
She loved her music and was always dancing around.
With her love for children, her dream job was to work with kids. And she was so family-orientated.
She loved spending time with her five sisters, Jodie, 23, Natalie, 18, Chloe, 17, Shannon, 14, and Sophie, 10, as well as her brother Noah, 3.
On 6 December, I took Claire to Crosshouse Hospital in Kilmarnock, where she was induced.
And on 9 December, after more than three days and an excruciating labour, Lillie was born weighing 8lb 5oz.
Both Robert and I were by Claire’s side for the final push.
And there Lillie was – a healthy, happy bundle of joy. It was love at first sight for us all.
‘She’s perfect,’ I said to Claire as I held my granddaughter.
Claire was exhausted, but I could see how much she already loved Lillie.
Soon after labour, Claire had stitches after a nasty tear.
But then she was finally able to get some sleep, with adorable Lillie in her arms. The next day, they were discharged from hospital. Claire took motherhood in her stride. She was a natural. She was always out and about showing off Lillie. They had a couple of checkups with the midwife and GP, and everything seemed fine. But on 31 January, our lives changed forever. ‘Have a lovely afternoon,’ I said as I dropped off Claire and Lillie at my mum Andrea’s house, where Robert was waiting. But within five minutes, Robert called in a panic to say Claire had collapsed. I sped back to the house to find Claire on the floor at the top of the stairs. She was conscious but finding it hard to breathe. Paramedics blue-lighted her to A&E at Ayr Hospital. Making my own way there, I thought they were just taking Claire to hospital as a precaution. I was wrong. ‘Claire’s heart stopped on arrival at hospital,’ a doctor told me in the family room. I was stunned. She’d been fine that morning. Now she’d gone into cardiac arrest and they were performing CPR on her. It wasn’t working. Rushing to Claire’s bedside, I stayed with her in the final
I rushed to her bedside. There was nothing they could do
15 minutes of CPR.
There was nothing they could do to save her.
When the doctors told me she was gone, I felt numb. Was this really happening?
I stayed with Claire for two and a half hours after she passed away.
A post-mortem found Claire died from a pulmonary embolism – a blockage in the artery that carries blood from the heart to the lungs, and internal bleeding.
I was beyond devastated and so confused.
Thinking back, I started to piece everything together.
Three midwives had been out to see Lillie within a week of the birth, but not one had examined Claire.
She’d seen a GP hours before collapsing. Did none of them pick up something was wrong? Now, I’m raising Lillie. And I want answers for my granddaughter.
My grief today is the same as it was on day one. I try to keep strong for Lillie, but I dread the day I have to tell her what happened.
She’s a beautiful baby and the spitting image of Claire.
Lillie lives with me but Robert visits us every day.
We show Lillie videos of Claire and she giggles and smiles when she sees her mum.
Claire was so excited for the future, and that was taken away.
All I can do for my girl now is get answers about her death.
And raise her little girl to know how much her mummy loved her.