Look who built our house!
A reality show gave our family a fab future
Staring at the toilet, I tried to stop crying.
My husband Garry, 43, sobbed next to me.
‘It’s wonderful!’ I said. And it truly was. You see, this wasn’t any ordinary loo. It was a futuristic throne that would mean our disabled son Haydn, 13, could go to the toilet with dignity.
That toilet just summed up the wonder of our new home.
Just a few weeks before, it had been a three-bed bungalow – too small for us two, Haydn and our other children, Isobella, 10, Curtis, 6, and Phoebe, 5.
Our kids were all adopted, all with different disabilities.
Haydn has cerebral palsy, while Isobella has Down’s syndrome. She’s Phoebe’s biological big sister, and, while Phoebe is healthy physically, she has post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Curtis has cerebral palsy and epilepsy. Quite a clan! After Garry and I tied the knot in 2007, we knew we wanted a family, but weren’t sure how.
Then, in April 2009, Garry came home early from his job as a head teacher. He’d bought the local paper.
‘Er, I saw an advert for fostering, gave them a call…’ he said.
So we were visited by two social workers.
‘There’ll be lots of red tape,’ they warned.
And they weren’t wrong! It was nine months later when we finally welcomed Haydn into our home, fostering him.
It was February 2010, and down came the snow…
We were housebound for days. Perfect bonding time!
A year later, Curtis arrived as a foster child.
‘Will you write a description for prospective adoptive parents for Curtis?’ social services asked.
As we wrote what he needed, we realised something. ‘This is us!’ we agreed. So I became a stay-at-home dad, and we moved to the Isle of Sheppey in February 2013.
That April, we adopted both Curtis and Haydn. Then, in June, we got another call from social services.
Before long, we welcomed Bella, 6, and Phoebe, 18 months, into the family. Only Phoebe struggled, didn’t cry or make a sound for 10 days. Then she’d wake in the night screaming. Isobella would lash out to try to make her stop. A year on, Phoebe’s PTSD was diagnosed. We adopted both girls in July 2014. We settled into as much of a routine as we could. All the kids had their own challenges, but we were a happy unit. There was only one thing that wasn’t working – our home. Now we had four children under one roof. With all their medication, supplies and equipment, it was cramped. Plus, Haydn was getting older. Yet we still had to help him with most
personal things. Every so often, a friend or family member would joke about a TV show, DIY SOS, where builders helped out families in need.
‘You should apply!’ they’d say.
In September 2015, I applied online, keeping things simple. Can’t hurt… I thought. Two gay dads, four adopted kids – three disabled, one with mental-health problems. We’d love a new bathroom so our eldest son can use the loo with dignity.
I sent it off and didn’t think anything else of it…
It wasn’t until early the next year that I got a text message.
We’d been chosen to be on DIY SOS The Big Build!
When the builders arrived, we all moved into a neighbour’s house for nine weeks.
On 13 October last year, we
Our new home is state-of-the-art!
All the kids had their challenges, but we were a happy unit
finally went for the ‘big reveal’.
Presenter Nick Knowles counted down as we stood with our eyes closed. And, when we opened them... Our poky bungalow had been replaced with a five-bedroom, state-ofthe-art house!
Best of all was the loo, which meant Haydn would be able to ‘go’ without us.
Builders had come to help from local firms, and from far and wide. Companies donated equipment like a special bed, which turns Curtis in his sleep.
It’s been amazing for the others, too.
Phoebe is excelling at school, Isobella’s behaviour has improved and she loves our new courtyard. It’s ‘her’ space.
You might not believe in Fate, but I do. It was Fate that Garry saw the ad in the paper that day, Fate that I applied to the TV show.
Thanks to the team, our special family has a home we can share forever.