Moved in with mistress
He told me he was working away – as he set up a double life
Sipping my tea, I thought about my boyfriend Shaun’s news.
He’d been offered a new job on an oil rig in the Shetland Islands.
It meant he’d be away from me and our daughter Caitlin, 1, for three weeks in every four.
Will I be able to cope on my own? I worried.
But it was a great opportunity for Shaun, now 32.
Besides, we could do with the money. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. ‘But we’ll talk on the phone every day,’ Shaun promised.
And we’d make the one week of each month we had together extra special.
Still, getting used to a new long-distance relationship was hard on both of us.
Shaun had been my childhood sweetheart. We’d met when I was 16 and had barely spent any time apart.
But we managed OK when Shaun began working away.
And we definitely made the most of that week we did have together...
Because, three months after Shaun started his new job, I was pregnant again!
‘We’ll need a place of our own,’ Shaun grinned, stroking my growing bump.
We’d been living at his mum’s and, while it had been smooth sailing so far, we needed our own space for our growing family.
And there was one big box left for us to tick.
I nervously tapped out a text to Shaun, after he’d returned to work for his next three-week stint.
How would you feel about getting married? I wrote.
I held my breath, as I waited for his reply. Great idea! he replied. I was on cloud nine. Newly engaged, expecting our second baby and moving into our first family home.
It felt like everything was falling into place.
In June 2013, we welcomed our baby boy Leo.
‘Hello, gorgeous,’ I cooed, peering down at my son, counting his tiny, perfect fingers and toes. Shaun and I were smitten. But, just a week after Leo was born, Shaun had to go back to work. So soon? I thought, gutted. Life with a newborn and toddler was hard without an extra pair of hands to help.
But, despite being sleep deprived and stressed, it didn’t stop me noticing that Shaun was becoming distant. He called home less. ‘I just want to talk to you,’ I pleaded one night over the phone.
His reply was blunt.
‘I have to get back to work, I don’t have time right now,’ he said. I was crushed. Something isn’t right, I thought.
But ignoring my instincts, I pushed my fears aside and put Shaun’s behaviour down to the stress of the job.
I knew it couldn’t be easy, spending so much time away from the kids.
‘We need a holiday,’ I suggested when we next spoke.
So, in October 2013, I booked us a family break in Cape Verde, leaving Leo, then 4 months, with family.
But, as we settled into our seats on the plane, Shaun could barely tear his eyes away from his phone.
And it only got worse as the week went on.
While Caitlin and I played by the pool, Shaun would sit with his mobile in his hand, as if he wasn’t with us.
We spent the rest of the holiday bickering.
The day we were due to fly home, Shaun suddenly perked up.
And the minute we touched down, he told me he’d have to get straight back to work.
‘You’re not going to come
He was becoming distant, but I pushed my fears aside
home first?’ I cried, shocked. ‘Don’t you want to see Leo?’
I couldn’t persuade him to change his mind.
As Caitlin and I headed home, I tried to pretend everything was fine.
But, on the inside, I felt hurt and confused.
A month later, Shaun returned from the Shetlands for his week with us.
That night, we were watching TV together after the kids had gone to bed, when he disappeared upstairs.
Moments later, I heard him talking in muffled tones.
Heart in my mouth, I muted the TV and crept to the bottom of the stairs.
‘Babe, I’m sorry,’ I heard him saying. ‘We’d already booked the holiday. I love you and can’t wait to come home.’ My blood ran cold. What was he on about? Shaun was home. And who was he calling Babe?!
I stormed upstairs and flung open our bedroom door, demanding to know who was on the other end of the phone.
Shaun went bright red and hung up straightaway.
‘Someone from work,’ he said, flustered.
At first, Shaun denied he was having an affair, but I pushed him for answers.
Eventually, he admitted that he was having a relationship with someone at work. Such a cliche!
And they’d got together just weeks after I’d given birth to Leo! Oily rat! They were even living
together whenever he was in the Shetlands. While I was at home looking after our baby.
I was utterly heartbroken. My whole world had fallen apart.
Caught out, Shaun realised that he could lose his family and promised to end things.
I wrestled with my feelings. We’d been together for 10 years, had two kids.
For their sake, despite everything, I decided to give Shaun a second chance.
We couldn’t afford for him to give up his job, though.
So he kept working in the Shetlands, vowing he’d stay away from his mistress.
We managed to limp along for another few months, but the trust was broken.
Thinking of him working so far away, in the same place as her, was too much to bear.
‘It’s not working, Shaun. It’s over,’ I told him.
Not long afterwards, Shaun begged me to give our marriage another go.
He was no longer working on the oil rig and it would have been the easier option to say yes.
Shaun was all I’d known, we had a family together.
But I couldn’t forget what he’d done.
Now, Shaun and I are only in contact for the sake of Caitlin, 6, and Leo, 4.
I’m moving on with my life, focusing on myself and my two beautiful children. I won’t let him fool me again.
I couldn’t bear to think of him in the same place as her