‘I’m NOT pregnant!’

My belly was the size of a balloon before surgery fixed it...

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes focused on my belly. Bloated again. It had ballooned, was solid as a rock and as painful as always. I’d suffered with bowel complications since birth.

I was often constipated and in a lot of pain.

By the time I was 4, I’d had two surgeries to try to strengthen my bowel muscles.

But nothing had worked and, over the years, I’d become used to the excruciating pain.

I rarely left the house. I was too frightened I’d get painful stomach cramps and have to dash to the loo.

If I did go out I wouldn’t eat or I’d starve myself beforehand.

That way, I won’t need to go to the toilet, I told myself.

I always covered up under baggy clothes, feeling self-conscious of my bloated tum.

And it was common for people to think I was pregnant.

‘When are you due?’ strangers would ask me.

Inside, I’d be dying with embarrassment.

‘Never – I’m not pregnant,’ I’d say, trying to laugh it off.

Over the years, my bloated belly had been brushed off as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

But I was in agony every day with stomach cramps and I was always swollen.

In March 2017, I decided enough was enough.

I couldn’t take looking at my ‘pregnant’ bump any longer. ‘It has to go!’ I told friends. So I begged my GP to be referred to a specialist.

And when I was finally seen, the consultant agreed my condition was more than just IBS.

But he couldn’t pinpoint what was causing all of my bowel problems.

‘I just can’t take it any more,’ I sobbed. ‘I’ve been suffering for years.’

He explained that I could have a colostomy bag fitted.

A pouch worn outside my body, collecting waste.

I’d face a lifetime of bag changes and trying to cover it under clothes.

But, by now, I was in so much pain, my mind was made up. ‘I want a bag,’ I agreed. So, on 23 November 2017, I went into the Diana, Princess of Wales Hospital in Grimsby.

There, I had surgery to attach an opening in my skin to my colon, so that waste could leave my body through a bag.

When I saw the bag for the first time, I just smiled.

Because for the first time ever, I didn’t feel bloated and uncomfortable.

Allowed home10 days later, it was like I had a new lease of life.

I started going out more and socialising with friends.

‘At least now I don’t have to worry where the nearest toilet is!’ I laughed.

And, with my distended belly gone, I had the confidence to wear tight tops and jeans.

‘Nobody can mistake you for being pregnant now,’ a friend said, admiring my much flatter tum.

Of course, having a bag constantly attached to me brought its own worries.

‘What if people see it?’ I’d think, conscious of my top riding up a bit.

But flashing my bag was nothing compared to how embarrassing my ‘pregnancy bump’ had been

People often ask me if my bag ever leaks or if it smells.

But, so far, I’ve not had any trouble with mine.

I know having a colostomy bag isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly but, for me, it really has been life-changing.

I’ve received a lot of support from the Facebook group Colostomy UK.

And it’s introduced me to other people, just like me, who have bags. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

And, for the first time ever, I’m not being ruled by a bloated tum.

This is where my life begins!

I always had to worry about where the nearest toilet was