Takeaway tragedy
My son just fancied a treat for his tea...
Holding my newborn, I was instantly in love.
Connor was my second child, with a big brother Grant, then 5.
He was born premature at 31 weeks and weighed a tiny 4lb 13oz. Luckily, he thrived. Only, one day aged 5, he’d been eating some sweets when his lips started to swell.
Panicking, I whisked him to hospital. Doctors ran tests. ‘Connor has a nut allergy,’ the doctor said.
There must’ve been traces in the sweets.
It was a worry – but it was manageable.
Connor was discharged the next day with an Epipen to use in emergencies.
And despite his food allergy, Connor grew into a strapping young man –6ft tall.
He and Grant were close, and both became caring big brothers when Ben came along in February 2000.
Plus, Connor was a big softie, clever, with a brilliant sense of humour.
A gentle giant, his mates called him.
Connor never let his allergy get in the way of his love of eating.
He learned what he couldn’t have, always checked the ingredients when he got food.
In September 2013, Connor went to Bournemouth University to study Computer Science. I was so proud. ‘You’re going places, son,’ I told him.
In his second year, he got a work placement at a big car company in Luton.
He came home most weekends - with a suitcase of dirty laundry. Typical!
In November 2014, Connor, then 20, was due home for a visit. Make sure my room’s clean please, Mum! he texted a few days before.
So cheeky!
But I didn’t mind. As a single mum, I adored my boys – and they’d all be there that weekend.
The day before he was due home, I woke up early, stocked the kitchen with Connor’s favourite things.
Ribena, Pringles...
Then I went for a nap.
Only, 15 minutes later, I awoke to a knock on the door. Bleary-eyed, I opened it. It was two policewomen. ‘Can we come in?’ they asked. My first thought was Ben, then 14.
Has he skipped school?
I thought. I was told to sit down – and after that, everything became a blur. One of the policewomen said something about an incident.
Connor. Bedfordshire police.
Nothing sank in. I couldn’t understand what was happening. ‘It’s Connor,’ she said again. ‘He’s dead.’ Finally, her words hit home. I just screamed. I don’t remember much of what happened next. Suddenly, Grant’s girlfriend Charlotte, then 38, appeared – the police must have called her. Officers picked up Grant, then 25, from the school where he worked as a teacher. He broke down. My brothers arrived, and then poor Ben came home from school. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked us. I was a mess, so one of the officers told him. He just went into shock. I could see Grant and my brothers talking to the officers, but I was too fragile to hear the details. The next day, Grant and my brothers took me to identify Connor’s body. I don’t know how I got through it. I couldn’t focus. None of it felt real. I went home while Grant and my brothers went to pack up Connor’s things at his flat. I simply couldn’t face going there. Grant had so far protected me from the details, but I needed to know. Over the next few days, he told me pieces of information. He explained how Connor had picked up dinner after work. A chow mein from a local Chinese takeaway. Only, he’d had an allergic reaction.
It must’ve had nuts in it,
I realised. How, I didn’t know. Connor was careful, and always ordered
My poor boy – he must’ve been so scared...
the same thing.
He’d managed to call an ambulance, but he must’ve panicked and rushed out into the street.
There, he’d collapsed and lost consciousness.
An estate agent working in his office nearby found him, gave him mouth-to-mouth and managed to revive him before the ambulance arrived.
But Connor then died in hospital. I sobbed. My poor boy.
He must’ve been so scared,
I thought.
Grant said they found the half-eaten bowl of noodles still on his bed, but couldn’t see his Epipen anywhere.
Three weeks later, hundreds of people gathered to say goodbye to Connor.
In a daze of grief, I don’t really remember much about the funeral.
Afterwards, I sobbed myself to sleep every night.
Ben withdrew into his shell, while Grant held us together.
Eventually, I went back to my support-officer job.
But I knew life would never be the same again.
In January 2016, there was an inquest into Connor’s death. I didn’t go, couldn’t face it. An allergy expert said there was likely traces of nuts in Ben’s chow mein, triggering a fatal seizure.
The owners of the takeaway didn’t even give evidence – I still don’t know what the restaurant was called.
The coroner recorded an open verdict.
The chow mein wasn’t supposed to have nuts in it. We never found out how the nuts got in there. But we didn’t take any action against the restaurant. I didn’t have the strength. I haven’t been in Connor’s room since, although I can still smell his aftershave wafting under the door. We’re all still grieving. But I want to share Connor’s story with you, because allergy awareness is so important.
Always carry your Epipen, make sure you check and double-check ingredients when you buy food.
And if you have a reaction – get help.
Believe me, it can make the difference between life and death.
Always check and doublecheck ingredients